What can you do when a big life change is forced on you, and it seems to make everything worse? Read on…
Fariba writes:
I am 68 years old and I have to retire. Even though I was still capable of doing my job, my supervisor didn’t recommend that I be kept on.
Retirement scares me! I’m trying my best to stay positive but I am so worried about my family, I can’t sleep.
Dear Fariba:
That sounds hard. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through that.
I don’t have the answers, but I do know something that might help you to get calm enough to find your own answers.
When life throws us into a crisis, one of the hardest parts is that our feelings of stress and panic make it hard to think clearly.
Feelings are never the problem. It might seem as if we need to get rid of our feelings but we don’t. We just need a relationship with them.
Your feelings of worry and fear need your company. They need you to be gentle with them. They aren’t trying to hurt you.
They are like scared children that need your love!
Here’s what I recommend:
Sit in a quiet place, and bring your awareness to your body.
Gently invite your feelings about this life change to come.
You’ll probably feel tightness or heaviness in your body. Welcome that!
Try saying, “I am sensing something in me that feels so scared,” and then check inside if those words are right. Let the words change to fit the feeling even better.
You might let a gentle hand move to the feeling in your body. Not to try to change it — just to let it know you are here with it.
I predict that when you are no longer overwhelmed by your feelings, you’ll be able to think clearly and creatively about what you can do, and who you can ask for help.
You may even find some positives gifts in this new stage of your life. May it all go well!
