How can we do Focusing with hate? Read on…
People wonder:
There seems to be a lot of hate and prejudice in the world today. I see people treating other people with what seems to be a lack of empathy and caring. I wonder what Focusing has to say in cases like that.
Ann Responds:
February is the month (Black History month) when I especially remember the wisdom of James Baldwin.
One of my favorite quotes is, “I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once the hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”
I’ve seen many different strategies to avoid pain, and I’ve done a lot of them myself, from procrastinating to drinking too much. So it makes sense to me that hate, too, is a way to avoid pain.
So I thought I would put this to the test by doing some Focusing with my own hate.
Who do I hate? I’m not going to say the name… but it’s a person who is very powerful in my country right now, and seems not to care a bean for people like me. (Let’s call him “E”.)
So I pause… and I invite awareness into my body.
I invite the feeling, how I feel about E. My jaw is clenching, and my stomach is tight, almost nauseated. I’m checking those descriptions… yes, they fit.
I try saying: “I am sensing something in me feels hatred toward E.”
But it doesn’t feel like what’s really there. It’s more like a combination of fear, powerlessness, and disgust.
I say Hello to the feeling. “Hello, I know you’re there.”
In just a few minutes, it starts to soften. My stomach is feeling more relaxed. I have no idea why, but that doesn’t matter.
To stay with the experiment, I ask myself, in my body, “Is there pain under here?” And a wave of sadness comes. Weariness. My heart hurts. Yes, there is pain. I sit with that. I let it know I am with it.
The pain is grateful that I am with it. And I am grateful to be present with what I feel. Thank you, body. Thank you, James Baldwin. Peace.
