Focusing Tip #820 – “I retreat into my head and distract myself”

When you try to slow down and listen to yourself, do you distract yourself instead? Read on…

Devin writes:

My issue with Focusing is that with trying to listen attentively, my first move is to retreat up into my head, and distract myself with mind movies. This is difficult to deal with because it’s not really a feeling, nor something I can accurately locate within myself, it’s an action.

Dear Devin:

Distracting yourself may be an action, but it’s an action that’s coming from a part of you that doesn’t want something.

We can guess that this part of you is not wanting what might happen if you listen attentively inside. Perhaps that you’ll encounter overwhelming or painful feelings. That’s just a guess, of course. The way to find out for sure is to ask it.

Start with noticing that the distraction is happening. Not so easy! But whenever you do notice, that’s great.

The next step is to acknowledge the part of you that is distracting you:

“I am aware that something in me is distracting me, and I’m saying Hello to it.”

Be kind! Our first impulse might be to be self-critical:

“Stupid me! Playing mind movies when I wanted to do Focusing!”

But no need for that.

Just assume this part of you has some good reason for behaving as it does… and be curious about what it is.

“I know you have some good reason for distracting me like this… and in time, perhaps you can let me know what it is.”

No demands, no pressure. You’re not interrogating it. But you are curious, because you know you don’t know.

Be aware that it probably won’t answer in words. There will be a wordless feeling, or an image, or a vague sense. For example, if it’s distracting you because it’s scared of what you’ll find, there might be a vague sense of dread.

During this process, you might get distracted again! But just notice that… and gently come back again. “Where were we? Oh, yes…”

Isn’t it lovely to know that even distraction comes for some reason that makes sense?