Is it possible to know you have a feeling, yet not feel it? Read on…
Barb writes:
I feel like I’m angry, but I can’t really feel the anger and it doesn’t go away when I name it. I know I don’t want to really feel the anger. I feel like I’m not really connected to the experience of anger. How is that possible, to know I’m angry but not really feel it?
Dear Barb:
It’s mysterious, isn’t it? How we can know we have an emotion, even though we don’t feel it.
I suspect that you actually are feeling something, even if it’s not a clear and obvious emotion. Most people who say they feel “nothing” are actually experiencing something like “numb” or “blank.” But that’s not nothing!
Maybe you’re feeling the pushing away of the anger. Maybe you’re feeling the inner struggle not to feel the anger.
Here’s something you can try, the next time you think you might be angry. Sit in a comfortable place and let your awareness come to your body.
Now sense how it feels in your throat. Tense? Relaxed? Just notice.
Go on to your chest, how it feels in your chest. Comfortable and peaceful? Or heavy? Go on and do the same with your stomach area.
This practice can help you feel what you do feel. And when you feel something, often there’s no name for it at first. Call it “something.”
This process takes patience. It’s not instant. If you are used the the quickness of your thoughts, feeling your body will be slower. But it will be well worth it… because you’ll be listening to what needs your attention, what’s actually here.
