Focusing is helpful for all kinds of issues, all kinds of people. For example, Focusing helps both if you’re feeling “too much,” and if you’re feeling “too little.”
Feeling “Too Much”
I put the words “too much” in quotation marks, because of course in Focusing we are accepting of all inner experiences, including strong feelings. But Focusing is uniquely helpful when feelings are strong, because we learn about a “third way” to be with feelings.
When I was growing up in the Midwest, we learned only two ways to be with feelings.
(1) If possible, don’t feel anything! At least not anything unpleasant, like anger or sadness. Certainly not fear.
(2) If your feelings get strong enough, they burst out! People around you understand that you just couldn’t help getting taken over by your feelings, because they were so strong. But you’re expected to stuff them back down as quickly as possible, and get on with your life.
And then the feelings come back again, just as strong, unchanged in quality, the next time they are triggered. What we need for real change is the third way offered by Focusing….
How Focusing is a “Third Way”
Focusing lets you be with your feelings without getting caught up in them. You are not denying them or pushing them away, AND you are not getting immersed in them. From this “being with” perspective, a felt sense can form, and this allows new possibilities not in awareness before.
Next week: Feeling “too little”
