Recently I had a conversation with a healing professional who wanted to let me know she had discovered that Focusing doesn’t always work.
Intrigued, I asked her to say more.
“People need other things,” she said. “Just listening to them isn’t enough.”
“Ah, thank you!” I said to her. I feel so grateful to hear this. Because it lets me know that I have not been as effective as I would like in communicating a couple of things.
One. Listening to a client, saying back what they say, is a great way to communicate respect, to help them stay with what they are experiencing, and to sense where the openings for further process may come. But it’s not the only way to bring Focusing into sessions.
In fact, listening alone, just by itself, does not bring Focusing into client sessions. That depends on the person’s experiencing level.
Research has shown that if people aren’t Focusing already, just listening alone doesn’t help them do so. So I agree – completely – that in many cases just listening – although extremely valuable – is not enough.
Two. The essential principle of bringing Focusing into client sessions is: Whatever you do, and whatever the client does, help them bring it back to the felt sense and check there.
Which means: Bringing Focusing into therapy, coaching, counseling, etc. can include anything you do… as long as you check. Even giving advice!
Therapist: “So I’m wondering how that was for you, when I said that if it were me, I would have written her off long ago.”
“How do I tell my clients about Focusing?”
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There is no need to tell your clients about Focusing… because what you are doing comes from a Focusing place in yourself. So the discussion is not about Focusing, it is Focusing.
If this brings more questions, do let me know!
