“Is there a time after recognizing the trigger of your sadness … before seeking to restore and heal through active Focusing?”


Anne writes:

How does one know when to actively ‘Focus’? Specifically, is there a gauge of time after initially recognizing the trigger of your sadness/depression to allow the subconscious to “sit” passively with your feelings before seeking to restore and heal through active Focusing?

Dear Anne:

The time to do Focusing is – any time!

There is no time that is too soon or too late. You can do Focusing in the moment, at the very moment that something is triggering you. Or you can do Focusing some time later, twenty years later, 50 years later. Never too late!

I’m not sure what you mean by the subconscious sitting passively with feelings, but I assume you are talking about the value of some kind of passage of time between an awareness and a Focusing process with that awareness.

That is not at all necessary.

As soon as you become aware that something needs attention, you could do Focusing with it.

Focusing isn’t intrusive or aggressive. The process of Focusing is gentle, accepting, and self-compassionate.

The healing of Focusing comes from the gentle relational presence that you are bringing to the triggered, hurting parts of you.

When done correctly, the Focusing process cannot retraumatize because it is so respectful of the pace set by the body process itself.

The essential Focusing invitation is: “I am just going to be with this…” Do give it a try with whatever is troubling you… I think you will find a growing trust in the process.

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