Focusing Tip #665 – “Can I be with a part of me I’m completely identified with?

What can you do when you realize you’ve become completely identified with a part of you? Read on…

Daphna writes:

I am new to Focusing. I am starting to recognize when I get so identified with a specific something that it takes over all of me. I was wondering, can I be with this part of me while I am completely identified with it? Does it make any sense to address it on the spot, even if I don’t feel it as a felt sense? I have tried it but it feels like it comes from my mind…. like it is superficial in a way.

Dear Daphna:

Good for you for starting to recognize when you are so completely identified with something that it takes over all of you!

And guess what. As soon as you recognize that, you are no longer completely identified. You have a little scrap of Self-in-Presence.

(If that’s a new term, here’s a link to my article “What is Self-in-Presence anyway?”)

Yes, as soon as you recognize that you have become completely identified with something in you, you can address it on the spot.

For example:

“I am so angry at her, I could rip her head off! Oh – wait a minute – I’ve become completely identified with this angry feeling. It’s something in me that is angry, even though it feels like all of me.”

“I’m going to try saying Hello to this ‘something in me’ that is angry. Hello, wherever you are!”

As you said, at first this will probably feel superficial, like you are just going through the motions. You’re calling it “something in me” and you’re talking to it, but it still feels like all of you.

But that’s OK. This is a process.

Repeating the language of “something in me” and “hello” – with intention – will bring this aspect of yourself more and more into awareness as something you can be with, and get to know better.