“What happens when what you are sensing is so big it feels like all of you rather than part of you?”

What can you do when your feelings are so big that you have no observer self? Read on…


A Reader writes:

I am trying to practice your method of saying “I am sensing something in me…” But what happens when what you are “sensing” is very big? So much so that it feels like all of you rather than part of you?

In other words, it is all that is felt and you can’t find the part of you that is observing it. What then?

Dear Reader:

Thank you for your question! It is a common one… by which I mean that many people have this issue at first. And I can assure you that the method works even then!

We think we have to feel bigger than our stressful feelings first, before we turn toward them and say “I am sensing something in me feels….” But actually, it is the language that helps the shift happen.

You feel a difference because you say it… not before you say it.

The first thing I’d suggest is to simply acknowledge how big it is.

“This feels really big.”

Acknowledging is powerful, and can make an immediate difference.

Second, go ahead and use the words I recommend even if they don’t feel true… yet.

“I am sensing something in me is really upset.” (for example)

Or you can also say, “I am sensing something in me that feels like all of me is really upset.”

And then stay with the inner sense of it, and keep noticing. That is perhaps the most important move of all!

Awareness… even awareness of how big something feels… brings remarkable shifts. Especially if we don’t fight with how we feel, but simply notice.

Hey, and the language helps you do that!

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One Comment

  1. I’ve heard this question many times. And I’ve struggled with the same experience: It feels like all of me, not part of me.
    I’ve learned by trial and error to get the emotional knowledge that my observing self is always there! With my Focusingpartner I started long ago to suggest my observing self to be open for the ‘new’ (the implicit) that really likes to say: It’s something that i’m confronted with. It is something that is really upset. From that moment I felt I trusted myself more and more.
    I like to practice self in presence on a daily basis and to invite what needs attention and I believe in the proces of freshness and progress.
    Thank you Ann for your Focusingtips. They remind me of all the possibilities of the felt sense and all the small steps of Focusing.

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