During times when lots of emotions are coming up, it’s still important to be curious. Read on…
Kim writes:
From listening to one of your webinars, I’ve realized how important it is to get curious about this guilt that I’m feeling. (Rather than to say to myself “Oh really? That again?”)
Is it because I know so many people have it harder than I do? Is it because I think I should be helping more than I do? Is it because I feel I’ve been focusing more on taking care of myself these days than checking in on my friends and family?
I’m going to spend some time listening to myself after the kids go to bed!
Dear Kim:
This is a time when LOTS of emotions are coming up for people. I’m hearing a lot about panic, for example… a very uncomfortable feeling, made worse by being locked in.
Guilt is not quite as uncomfortable as panic but it still can haunt us and make our days harder to get through. I hear from a lot of people who are feeling guilty.
The tip I have today will probably help with both panic and guilt.
The most powerful and effective thing you can do when you’re experiencing overwhelming feelings is un-merge from them.
You do this by grounding and resourcing yourself, and then saying, about the feeling: “I am sensing something in me feels _____________…. and I am saying Hello to that.”
I’d suggest slowly repeating that until you feel some kind of easing. Saying it once may not be enough for that inner place to hear you!
Next: Be gentle, and be curious.
You might think you already know why this part of you feels the way it does. And sure, there are some obvious reasons! But really, you don’t know.
This is a time to be compassionately curious… genuinely curious… because creating a listening relationship with this part of you will help it to calm down and open up. Somebody cares! Somebody isn’t telling me to shut up!
I’ll bet… because I’ve experienced it so often… that the actual reason that this part of you feels the way it does will surprise you. It will be unique. It will make you say, “Oh, wow, no wonder!” And when your inside place feels that you get it, it can relax as well.
