Do you have a feeling of tension that doesn’t shift no matter what you do? Read on…
Christina writes:
I woke extremely tense and almost panicky this morning. My neck kept growing tighter and tighter as if it was gripped by a strong hand (this is a recurring experience for me). I did a Focusing session and acknowledged how hard it was to feel this way. It shifted a little bit but not much and I ended up with a migraine.
When the feeling is that strong, I don’t know how to shift it and it generally leads to a migraine. What do you say? Just keep practicing and wait for something to change? I sensed a part of me that was wanting me to keep my eyes open and watch out.
Dear Christina:
This morning, I woke up that same way! I think answering your question is going to help me too!
And I know that sometimes the feelings are holding on so strongly that the usual things we do don’t work very well.
But still… let’s do those usual things first. Because they establish a compassionate inner relationship… and that’s key.
Saying: “I’m sensing something in me feels extremely tense and almost panicky.” Saying Hello to that gently and with warmth. “Hello, I know you’re there, and I’m here with you.”
Next: Say to the feeling that you get how strong it is. How intensely it feels. Often, the intensity of the feeling is part of the message.
One way I like to do this is to say to the feeling: “I really get how important this is for you!” That validates it… and you may get a release as it starts to feel heard.
But you may not. It may still be painfully tense. And that’s when empathy comes in.
Settle down with it as if you are listening to it. Sense from its point of view what makes it so tense (or whatever it feels).
You said you can feel there’s a part of you that just wants you to keep alert. Ah, interesting! There’s more, right there. Something about what it wants for you from keeping alert. Something about what it’s worried will happen if you don’t.
If you listen at this level, and really let it know you hear it, you’re likely to feel some releases. Not because you’ve tried to release anything. But because when our inner feelings and parts feel heard, and start to trust us, they naturally let go.
