Focusing Tip #815 – “I have a part that’s angry and a part angry at that part”

Focusing Tip #815 – “I have a part that’s angry and a part angry at that part”
October 5, 2022 Ann Weiser Cornell
“Something in me wants to know about the anger but gets no answer and gets angry about the not answering.”

Focusing Tip #815 – “I have a part that’s angry and a part angry at that part”

Angry parts, parts angry at the angry parts, what do you do with them all? Read on…


Cori writes:

I have something in me that’s very angry. I don’t know how to accept it.

There is something in me wants to push the anger away. Something in me is sick of the anger. Something in me wants to know about the anger but gets no answer and gets angry about the not answering.

Can you give me some help?

Dear Cori:

Lots of parts! You’re using my recommended language of “something in me.” But something is missing… you!

Having lots of parts that are triggering and reacting to each other can be confusing and chaotic. More parts arise: “When will this ever stop?” and “How can I get free of all this?”

It’s a great step to acknowledge all the parts using the language of “something in me.” Good… as far as it goes.

Now be the one who is acknowledging the parts. You yourself are not a part. You are the one who notices, who is aware, who is present.

I recommend using this language: “I am sensing…” Like this:

“I am sensing something in me that’s very angry.

“I am sensing something in me that doesn’t know how to accept it.

“I am sensing something in me wants to push the anger away.

“I am sensing something in me that is sick of the anger.

“I am sensing something in me wants to know about the anger but gets no answer and gets angry about the not answering.

And I am here with all of them. I am here to listen to them, one at a time.

You are the one who can turn toward any of these parts and sit down with it, listen to it, let it know you hear it. The more you acknowledge your parts, the more you can increase your sense of being a strong self, being you, the whole you… and your parts will calm down and relax.

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