Do you have a hard time becoming aware of your parts? Read on…
A Reader asks:
I can only notice that parts are here because I can tell I am not Self-in-Presence. (I.e, I don’t feel empathetic, or I seem to hate other parts, or I seem to do Focusing with the hidden intention to get rid of parts.) But the parts themselves are either hiding, or I’m completely merged with them. Do you have any suggestions?
Dear Reader:
Your question has me asking myself, how do I become aware of parts?
I usually become aware that a part is there by some kind of indirect means.
The examples you give are good ones. Not feeling empathetic toward myself, or realizing I’m doing Focusing with the intention to get rid of something.
Or I’m not doing something I want to do, and I can’t figure out why not.
Or I can’t stop doing something I don’t want to do, like staying up too late to get a good night’s sleep.
Or I react to some other person in an angry or critical way, even though logically I know they didn’t do anything.
So then I make a guess: There must be a part of me (“something in me”) that is doing… or not doing… or reacting… that way.
At that point I still don’t feel, hear, or see the part. I’m just guessing that it is probably there.
So I take time to bring awareness into my body, and I invite the part. “Hello, part of me that doesn’t want to go to bed on time. I know you are around somewhere, and I’d like to get to know you better.”
Then I wait. As I wait, I am reaching out with my attention, both sensing in my body and sensing around me, behind me even. I might get a body feeling. But I also might feel there is someone there… like being in a dark room and feeling there is someone there even if you don’t see them.
It takes patience. But here’s the good news: If you don’t feel patient, then see if you can say Hello to the not-being-patient. That one is right there!
