Is it Focusing if your body moves and doesn’t hold still? Read on…
A Reader writes:
In a lot of videos I’ve seen, the person Focusing is sitting very quietly, experiencing emotions and sensations in the body, but it’s all very meditative and polite.
But often when I feel something, my body moves strongly in response. I may not be quiet and unmoving if the feelings are strong. Just want to check if that’s still Focusing.
Dear Reader:
Oh, yes, definitely you’re still Focusing.
On the one hand I’ve always been impressed by people who say, very softly, something like, “This agonizing feeling is ripping my guts out… and I’m acknowledging it.” It’s the opposite of dramatic!
The big insight there is that when you are doing Focusing, you don’t have to be expressive. For many people, it may even help to concentrate so fully on a feeling that no energy is taken up by expressing it outwardly.
You don’t have to be expressive — but on the other hand, you can be. And it might be helpful.
Feelings need to be acknowledged and reflected. Strong feelings may need to be expressed strongly. That can help the feelings be seen and “met” fully.
The thing to watch out for is getting so caught up in the expressing that you skip over feeling it. You can check with it (with the feeling place inside) if it feels understood — and if there’s more. You can express… and then check.
That expressing and then checking is really essential to Focusing. Whether the expressing is in a soft quiet still voice, or whether you are waving your arms and showing emotion in your voice, the next step is still to check if all that feels right, in the sense of the expression fitting or matching the feeling.
And if it doesn’t fit — well, that’s great. You sense what does fit instead, and move forward from there.
