What if a part of you is angry at you for just saying Hello? Read on…
Marijke writes:
When I say hello to a part of me that feels something, it helps to recognize and give space. But sometimes, especially when I say hello to some part that feels pain about something in the past, it feels like the hello is not enough. Like it gets angry because I am only saying hello. What do you suggest when that happens?
Dear Marijke:
You’re in a good contact with that part of you, if you can tell that it wants more from you than just “Hello.” Excellent!
You can tell that it feels pain about the past. It sounds like it wants you to do something about its pain, is that right?
And what can we do about pain like that?
What I’ve learned is that when there is pain from the past, what that most needs from us is to be understood and accompanied.
That pain has been alone. Very likely no one was there at the time to understand, to hear it. In fact, if there had been someone like that, this pain might have processed back then, and would not still be around now.
So let it know you are listening. Let it know you’d really like to know how it feels, from its point of view. If it’s a body feeling, feel and describe it in your body.
If it still tells you it wants you to make it feel better, let it know you hear how much it is longing to feel better.
We don’t have to do everything our parts ask for. But it does help when we can say “No wonder,” so they don’t feel all alone.
