How can Focusing help with mourning? Read on…
Pippa writes:
My question is about a remark you made some time ago in one of your programs: Mourning is not from a part but is a whole body experience.
A client just broke up with her husband, my daughter lost an unborn baby. I’m mourning too about that.
There is a lot in life to mourn, hopefully to mourn well. But we don’t learn how to do that anywhere.
Dear Pippa:
What I like to say is that your body knows how to mourn, and what it needs is your company and your acceptance.
Mourning can be difficult. It can involve mental fogginess, tiredness, a desire to withdraw for a while. It can literally feel like excruciating pain. And more. But that’s all still natural.
You might have feelings about mourning. You might feel guilty because you’ve received the unfortunate message that you should be “over it” by now.
If the loss could have been remotely seen as your “fault” or preventable, there may be tortured thoughts of guilt and ruminating about what “should” have happened.
This is all very natural. The most natural thing in the world.
Since mourning is not from a part, I prefer not to say, “Something in you is mourning.” But I’m happy to say, “You might allow all this to be just as it is… and let it know you are with it now.”
You don’t have to stop mourning in order to live. Maybe you will always remember the one you lost. Your body will remember. But that doesn’t hold you back from life. You live forward with all of this.
