What if you long to change your unhealthy lifestyle? Read on…
A Reader writes:
At this time of year I always seem to get down on myself for what I haven’t done, like losing weight. I start feeling angry with a part of me that just seems lazy and undisciplined. It’s depressing. How can I get myself to change?
Dear Reader:
I really hear how much you are longing to change!
And I also hear that something in you is feeling frustrated, angry, and self-critical about the lack of what it would consider progress.
We can also make a pretty good guess that there is another something in you that doesn’t like to follow rules and be disciplined.
It sounds like an impasse!
Here’s what I have learned: It’s important that you find a way to get larger than the impasse, not merging or identifying with either of these parts of you. Only then can new possibilities occur.
How do you get larger? One way is to say Hello.
“I’m saying Hello to the part of me that’s angry with the lack of progress.”
“And I’m saying Hello to the part of me that doesn’t like to follow rules or be told what to do.”
“And both are here… and I am here to listen to both of them.”
Personally, I have found that if I hand my life over to a part that wants to manage it by saying what I “should” do, then there’s sure to be another part resisting. Nobody likes to be told what to do!
So (1) you can acknowledge and listen to those two parts.
(2), that will let you have room to sense what you really want, what you want to work for, what matters to you most. And then — without the use of “should” or “have to” — you will find yourself doing what leads you forward.
Happy New Year!
