“It feels so strong I can’t ignore it, and fighting it is harder than giving in…”
A Reader writes:
How do I distinguish between a felt sense and gut feeling that is driven by anxiety?
Sometimes I get the urge to go back in the house and check again if I left the stove on, even though I know I didn’t. It feels so strong I can’t ignore it and fighting it is harder than giving in. I suppose this is a form of OCD.
So I guess my question is, what’s the relationship between Focusing and OCD, and when can I trust my feelings?
Dear Reader:
Urges so powerful that they can be called “compulsions” come from something in us. We can bring compassion and curiosity toward the part of us that has the urge.
In the moment it occurs, you might decide that it is indeed easier to go back inside and check if the stove was left on.
Then at some point, maybe later when you have some quiet time, you can invite “something in me that got anxious about the stove” and let it come as a body feeling now.
Once you form a gentle relationship with that part of you, and offer to listen to what it is actually worried about, you may be surprised what it lets you know, and, being heard, how much can shift and relax.
I don’t have a clear guideline to offer you, which feelings to trust and which not. It’s more a matter of noticing over time what happens when you act on certain impulses, and what’s possible instead.
I have a friend who has started writing in a Focusing journal whenever she has the urge to eat sweets at bedtime. This idea emerged from a relational inner process. It’s not something she is “making” herself do. It’s what has come to seem like the best option. She is liking what happens. The journaling is helping her to be with the one in her that wants to eat the sweets. Then something new emerges.
