“I used to obsess, worry, and draw a blank when I needed to find a gift for someone.”
Dear Reader:
This is a time of year when potential stress comes from many sources. One of my big holiday stresses was always gift giving. I would want to give someone a gift, but be unable to come up with any ideas. I would obsess, worry, draw a blank, and then grab anything out of desperation…and could tell that the “anything” I had found was being received with polite smiles but no real joy.
What I want out of giving a gift and seeing it received is that the person knows — can feel — that I thought about who they are and what they would like. Expense isn’t important. “Fit” is.
Then I tried applying Focusing to choosing gifts. The result has been amazing. Having Focusing with me at the holidays has made this time of year much more the joy it’s meant to be.
I start by getting a felt sense of the person I want to choose a gift for. This brings a smile already, because this is surely a person I love, or at least like. Finding the right gift (to buy, to make…) works better for me if it’s grounded in my sense of the person.
Then I don’t do anything else immediately. I check in with the felt sense of the person over several days. If I’m in a store, or looking through a magazine, the sense of the person may light up. Sometimes it can even whisper ideas to me.
Choosing gifts this way has transformed the way that holiday gift-giving feels — so that I feel gifted by giving, which is really great, isn’t it?
