Focusing Tip #865 – Focusing + Intrusive Thoughts – “When I try to do Focusing alone my mind wanders”

How can you make Focusing alone as effective as Focusing with a partner? Read on…

A Reader writes:

I read your recent Tip on the benefits of having a Focusing partner. But the Focusing partner I had got busy with other things, and I still want to do Focusing.

My problem is that when I try to do Focusing alone my mind wanders and I start to have intrusive thoughts that I could be doing something more productive. And pretty soon I’m giving up. Any tips?

Dear Reader:

Focusing alone, without a Focusing partner, can work. It is possible. And being able to do Focusing alone brings the benefit that you have Focusing whenever you need it — while sitting in a plane, for example, or in the middle of the night.

But many people find that without a partner it can be hard to concentrate and stay with the process.

Interaction seems to facilitate Focusing. It’s a particular kind of interaction, though — having another person there who isn’t intruding, who isn’t adding anything, who is simply attentive and present. That kind of presence holds a space in which Focusing is easier.

So is there a way that we can give that kind of attentive presence to ourselves?

I know two ways, and I invite you to try them both and see what works for you.

The first is to speak out loud. When you make an invitation to yourself at the start of Focusing, say it out loud. When you are aware of something you are feeling in your body, say, “I am sensing something.” When you describe what you are feeling, say your description out loud.

Speaking out loud tends to quiet intrusive thoughts and help us to stay with the main process: inviting, sensing, describing, staying with.

The other way I know you give attentive presence to yourself is to write while Focusing. Have a piece of paper in front of you and write just a few words — your starting invitation, and then later, the description for what you’re feeling. If your mind wanders, look at the paper. Ah yes, that’s where I was!

I do have more tips for Focusing alone, that I teach in the course you can read about below. But those two are the best! You can go far with those alone. Happy Focusing!