What do people mean when they say, ‘Don’t try to change’? Read on…
A Reader writes:
My question is not really a problem, it’s more of a wondering.
After doing so many inner change practices for so many years, Inner Relationship Focusing is the one that finally made sense to me. And now my life is opening up and changing in amazing ways. So my question to you is: How come? What’s different?
Dear Reader:
I’m so glad to hear it! Inner Relationship Focusing does have something radical and different compared to many other change and healing processes.
It’s that we believe in allowing, not fixing.
Change is natural. Change in the direction of further growth, further life. So change doesn’t need to be made to happen.
We just need to create an environment of attention and acceptance… and change simply happens, like a flower blooming in the spring.
As Carl Rogers famously said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself exactly as I am, then I can change.”
It may be a paradox… but it’s also absolutely true — if you add kind attention to acceptance.
Until people meet Inner Relationship Focusing, it’s hard for them to imagine a process that doesn’t come from “something has to change.” (Even subtly.)
So turn toward what you feel… and give it warm empathy… but also let it be as it is. You’ll be amazed!
