“Can Focusing help me when the issues are health related?”
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Joan writes: “I am 52, in menopause, and life has turned upside down it seems. I have very frequent heart palpitations that last for hours. Muscle twitching, headaches, some numbness in arms at times, and discomfort. I have a torn labrum in my hip from running. And lastly, and this I really don’t like, I have bad acid reflux and constipation.
“Prior to the start of all these symptoms, Aug 2010, I did not take any medication except vitamins, ever in my life. I want my body back. I want me back.
“How can Focusing help me when the issues are health related and out of my control? Will it help me not react to these issues in a stressful, angry way? I want peace again.”
Dear Joan,
Wow, what you’re going through sounds like really a lot, and all at once, too. And starting less than a year ago. How stressful and disheartening.
Can Focusing help? Yes. Will it help you not relate to these issues in a stressful, angry way? Yes, that’s what it can help with best of all.
Your anger at the symptoms is SO understandable but it won’t help to turn against your own body.
You and your body are both undergoing this. Your body is not the culprit or the enemy. It’s doing its best–both to give you signals that something needs attention, and to heal what is wrong.
So I’d suggest to start by practicing the Focusing moves that are about gentleness and compassion to yourself and your own feelings. You might put your hand on your heart, and speak kindly to your body. Say, “I am here with you,” the way you might speak to a frightened child.
And the same is true of any emotions that come up. If you feel angry about your symptoms, try saying, “I’m sensing something in me is angry.” That’s not to push away or belittle your feelings. On the contrary, it’s to respect your feelings and allow them to be there are intensely as they need to — and YOU are there with them.
“I’m sensing a BIG something in me is angry, and I’m saying to it, Yes I know you’re there!” Then be its listener. Let it tell you what it’s so angry about. Listen… you might be surprised!
More Ways Focusing Can Help with Health-Related Issues
In addition to helping you be kinder and more present to your body and your feelings — which does bring relief and change — Focusing can also help you listen for the behaviors and life changes that your body may be calling for. For example, you might need more rest. If you listen to your body, you will sense “from within” exactly when and how much rest would be right.
It might surprise you what kinds of change your body calls for. One woman discovered that she needed to be on the phone less. She needed to tell her extended family that she could no longer do hour-long phone calls. The relief was tremendous — but she hadn’t known she could ask for that until she started listening to her body.
Another powerful benefit of Focusing with health-related issues is to help you choose between courses of treatment. Of course you have medical advisers and they know more than you do — but sometimes the decision is yours, and when it is, Focusing can help you tap into an inner bodily knowing about what would be right.
In summary, I would say: Do stay with Focusing. I think it could really help. Your body is surely calling for something.
