Living a Focusing life means getting closer and closer to knowing how you feel and what you want at each moment.
Tips for Focusing Alone
Remember that Focusing alone (also known as Solo Focusing) is something you can do formally, as in sitting down and saying “I am doing Focusing now”–or you can do Focusing informally, in little mini-moments throughout the day.
The more you practice Focusing, the more you will be able to have it with you when you need it, in a phone call, a meeting, or a difficult relationship discussion. You’ll be able to say, “I need a moment to sense how I am with that.”
Mary Hendricks Gendlin of the Focusing Institute calls this “The Revolutionary Pause.” See her article at
https://www.focusing.org/social_issues/hendricks_05keynote.asp
Tips for Focusing with a Partner
Never forget, the most important thing you can give your Focusing partner is your presence, which doesn’t require a word to be spoken.
Gene Gendlin, the ground-breaking philosopher and psychotherapist who brought us Focusing said it this way: “The most important thing about being with a person is to be there, as another person. And this is lucky, because if we had to be good, or mature, or smart, or wise, then we would probably be in trouble! But what matters is not that.”
Most people work too hard at partnering. If it’s an effort, let go and relax. Your job is just to be.
