Focusing Tip #770 – Inner Relationship Focusing with Longing for Connection
-Focusing Tip #770 – Inner Relationship Focusing with longing for connection How do you get a felt sense of something you wish you could feel? Read on… Clara writes: I often feel, with my mother, that there is some emotional connection that I wish were there, but it’s not. The connection I am longing for is not available. I’m not sure how to do Focusing with this. How do I get a felt sense of something I wish I could feel? Dear Clara: Ah,…
Focusing Tip #768 – Learning to feel your feelings
-Focusing Tip #768 – Learning to Feel Your Feelings Is it hard to just feel your feelings? Read on… Andrea writes: I’ve been finding it hard to really FEEL my feelings. And to be with them. My Mom couldn’t be with my feelings, so I learned to use my thoughts to try to manage or avoid my feelings. I want to feel deserving of being with my feelings in a kind way! Dear Andrea: You have two big things going for you already. You…
Focusing Tip #767 – Do compliments make you uncomfortable?
-Focusing Tip #767 – Do compliments make you uncomfortable? Do you wonder why receiving a compliment gives you a freeze reaction? Read on… Mary writes: I notice I go numb and freeze when someone offers me a compliment. What do you think that’s all about? Dear Mary: You’re doing great already, by noticing that the freezing and going numb has something to do with being offered a compliment. And you’re curious about it! That’s another great step. What do I think? I think you’re…
Focusing Tip #766 – When you don’t know what you’re feeling
-Focusing Tip #766 – When you don’t know what you’re feeling… What if, because of trauma, you never learned how to tune in to your genuine feelings? Read on… Andrew writes: There was a lot of trauma as I was growing up. I realize I never learned how to know what I was feeling or how to actually deal with what my body was trying to tell me. What’s the best way to proceed? Dear Andrew: It’s so good that you have realized you…
Focusing Tip #765 – Focusing with existential fear
-Focusing Tip #765 – Focusing with existential fear What if you have a sense of dread about anything and everything? Read on… David writes: I have a client who feels he has the Sword of Damocles hanging above him… in other words, he feels that doom is always about to fall. Any tips for how I can help someone with Focusing on non-specific existential fear? Dear David: That sounds like an unpleasant way to feel, and I’m glad your client has you to help…
Focusing Tip #764 – Sensing and Describing
-Focusing Tip #764 – The practice of sensing and describing What if you think you are feeling something, but you aren’t sure… and you wonder if you are making it up? Read on… Sonia writes: Sometimes when I sense something in my body, I doubt if it is real or not. If I put my attention on it, I think I am creating something that isn’t really there. How can I trust what I am feeling? Dear Sonia: What I recommend is that you…
Focusing Tip #763 – When passion and urgency for a cause can lead to burnout
-Focusing Tip #763 – When passion and urgency for a cause can lead to burnout What if you’re so driven by working for a cause that you lose your sense of balance? Read on… Elinor writes: I often wonder how Focusing can help to work on such issues as environmental justice, inequalities in vaccinations, indigenous reconciliation, etc. Sometimes I feel my own sense of passion and urgency can get me out of balance and lead to burnout. How do we stay “fresh” on these…
Focusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in”
-Focusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in” Do you find yourself caught in thinking that other people are causing your problems? Read on… A Reader writes: Things were getting better, and now they’re getting worse again. That’s how it seems anyway. And I find myself continually thinking about the people who I blame for this situation, yelling at them in my mind. I’m getting more and more stressed. What can I do differently? Dear Reader: It’s tough when…
Focusing Tip #761 – “Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry.”
-Focusing Tip #761 – “Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry.” If you’ve got a part that wants to over-indulge and another part criticizing you, what can you do? Read on… Agnes writes: Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry. When I spend time with the impulse, I get that it’s a part that’s resisting another part of me, the relentless perfectionist. These two parts keep setting each other off, and I’m caught in…
Focusing Tip #760 – “Maybe being truly relaxed is too good to be true.”
-Focusing Tip #760 – “Maybe being truly relaxed is too good to be true.” When your stressful feelings don’t change, is it ever because change itself is scary? Read on… Maria writes: I’ve been Focusing for a while and I feel I’ve made progress with some of my inner questions. But I still feel a level of tension in my body. Part of me thinks I won’t be able to be free from this tension. It’s like that would be too good to be…
