Focusing Tip #722 – “I don’t like to be spoken to that way.”
-Focusing Tip #722 – “I don’t like to be spoken to that way.” If you feel rage and sadness at how you are being treated, what can you do? Read on… Mary writes: When my husband speaks cruelly to me, I feel so much rage and sadness about it. I took your advice and put my hand on my heart… and I told the rage and sadness that I heard it. But it didn’t budge. Then I watched a video you did on Acknowledging…
Focusing Tip #721 – “I can hardly do what I need to do for myself, much less the world.”
-Focusing Tip #721 – “I can hardly do what I need to do for myself, much less the world.” What can you do when you feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted and the stress just keeps coming? Read on… A Reader writes: A few weeks ago you wrote a tip about all the intensity going on in the world and this person felt they were not contributing enough. For me it’s more about getting completely overwhelmed and exhausted. It is just too much. I can…
Focusing Tip #720 – “There is a particular person who always drives me crazy.”
-Focusing Tip #720 – “There is a particular person who always drives me crazy.” If you have a negative reaction to another person that is affecting your life, but you have no idea why… Read on… A Reader writes: There is a particular person who always drives me crazy. We are on a work committee, so we have to be at meetings together… and when this person speaks, I feel my whole body tightening and my face getting hot. It’s starting to affect my…
How To Shift Stressful Feelings
-How are things going for you? For me, it’s been a bit intense lately. We’re having extreme weather events where I live, and that brings up a lot of feelings for me. I feel scared… tense… worried… discouraged because it seems to be getting worse every year… There’s a lot! And what do I do when those feelings come up? I remember to Pause and be kind to myself. And I put my hand on my heart. I…
Focusing Tip #719 – “I’m not doing enough to help heal the world”
-Focusing Tip #719 – “I’m not doing enough to help heal the world.” What can you do with the feeling that so much is wrong and you should be doing more to help? Read on… A Reader writes: The biggest stressor for me these days is events out there in the world. My negative inner voice says I’m not doing enough to help. It’s so painful to feel how much the world needs healing and that I’m not contributing enough. Dear Reader: I know!…
Focusing Tip #718 – “I’m confused about how to interact with my Parts”
-Focusing Tip #718 – “I’m confused about how to interact with my Parts” If our inner Parts are not like little people inside us, then how should we treat them? Read on… Judy writes: Your Tip #716 on Parts was helpful. I get why Parts aren’t left to deal with one another. But one does ask Parts what they want, whether it’s OK to sit close to them, and so on. These modes of interaction seem to confer a certain personhood or agency to…
When You Feel Overwhelmed
-Do you ever get completely overwhelmed? Like it’s all just too much? And what do you do then? Anxiety, for example. How does YOUR body feel when you get anxious? I tend to feel anxiety as a gripping in my stomach. Very uncomfortable! And what I do when I feel that is: I pause… I notice how I’m feeling (That doesn’t sound like much but it’s really important) and then I say Hello to SOMETHING IN ME that…
Focusing Tip #717 – “My parts don’t seem to be temporary.”
-Focusing Tip #717 – “My parts don’t seem to be temporary.” Can the parts of us that get triggered ever change? Read on… Paul writes: In last week’s Tip you wrote that Parts are basically “loops,” and that was helpful because I do feel my Parts that way. They can’t help themselves from showing up as grips of reaction and with their own convictions and limitations. But I didn’t follow you when you said they are temporary. For me, when Parts get triggered, they…
Focusing Tip #716 – Can our parts work things out with each other?
-Focusing Tip #716 – Can our parts work things out with each other? If you have inner parts in conflict, can’t you mediate between them? Read on… Maria writes: In one of your seminars you suggested that the different parts are not to talk to each other, they are to communicate with the witnessing presence and the witnessing presence is to hear both parties and have compassion for them. I am curious why are you suggesting no communication between parts. Wouldn’t it make a…
When You’re Embarrassed
-Do you ever feel really embarrassed by the actions of other people close to you? I used to get really embarrassed, so much that my face would get hot and I’d want to totally disappear. And not so much, now. Like yesterday I was heading out the door with my partner for our daily walk, and he had a huge hole in his sweater. I used to find that really embarrassing! But yesterday, I thought, “Who cares, really?…
