Focusing Tip #656 – Finding richness in our criticisms of other people
-Focusing Tip #656 – Finding richness in our criticisms of other people Do you find yourself stressed by how infuriating other people are? Read on… Jim writes: You’ve written that the sentence to use when we encounter an inner self-critic is, “Might you be worried about something?” Is this the sentence to use when I catch myself criticizing or judging others? Dear Jim: I’m excited to hear that you are getting curious about your judging of other people. People often don’t realize our criticisms…
Focusing Tip #655 – “I already know the reasons for my pain and exhaustion”
-Focusing Tip #655 – “I already know the reasons for my pain and exhaustion” When you have a physical pain or symptom, do you assume you know why? Read on… Rosie writes: I was struck by your Tip last week about listening to the body rather than talking to the body. It’s currently very common to make quick assumptions about a physical complaint: “This pain is because I’m overworked, stressed out, not getting up and stretching enough.” But do we check with the pain…
Focusing Tip #654 – Focusing isn’t talking to your body
-Focusing Tip #654 – Focusing isn’t talking to your body Do you talk to your body and wonder why that isn’t helping? Read on… A Reader writes: I tried Focusing with my client. She has a chronic pain in her shoulder. I had her tell the shoulder that she is not angry with it. The next week she came back and the pain in the shoulder was worse. She told me, “I don’t like Focusing.” Do you have any suggestions? Dear Michelle: Thank you…
Focusing Tip #653 – “Is there more I can do other than accepting my vulnerability?”
-Focusing Tip #653 – “Is there more I can do other than accepting my vulnerability?” After you get better at changing how you respond when you are triggered, is there more you can do? Read on… Jim writes: I have come to realize – and accept – that I have certain vulnerabilities and wounds. There are situations in which I have very limited conscious options about how to respond because I get triggered and react unawarely. The effects are painful and costly. I have…
Focusing Tip #652 – “When it’s really bad I resort to binging on sweets.”
-Focusing Tip #652 – “When it’s really bad I resort to binging on sweets.” Do you struggle with an inner critic that makes you feel like you are taken hostage? Read on… Margarita writes: I am struggle very much with inner critics and watchdog-like parts that are often running the show behind the scenes. I feel like I’m taken hostage sometimes. When it’s really bad I resort to binging on sweets which in turn makes me hate myself more. I would love to learn…
Focusing Tip #651 – “How can I become more aware of my body?
-Focusing Tip #651 – “How can I become more aware of my body? What’s the easiest way to become more bodily aware – or to help someone else do so? Read on… Teresa writes: I watched a video of yours and Focusing seems to make sense, but it depends on being aware of your body. What if I’m not? How can I become more aware of my body? Dear Teresa: Believe me, I can so relate! When I first tried to learn Focusing, I…
Focusing Tip #650 – Focusing with lack of attraction
-Focusing Tip #650 – Focusing with lack of attraction What can you do when the feelings are missing that you know would naturally be there? Read on… Tom writes: My love life works well in fantasy. But as soon as it goes into a real situation, I get a feeling like apathy or lack of interest. I look at the woman and feel nothing – suddenly I am empty. All the attraction is gone. This is very frustrating because I really want a good…
Focusing Tip #649 – “What is supposed to come after sensing my body?”
-Focusing Tip #649 – “What is supposed to come after sensing my body?” Do you get stuck just feeling sensations and describing them, nothing more? Read on… A Reader writes: I get stuck at the sensing the body phase. I find myself just feeling sensations, describing them, being with them, etc… but nothing else really happens. I understand that we don’t want to place an expectation on how the process should evolve, but I just find myself sitting with the emotions and that’s it.…
Focusing Tip #648 – “I’m practicing saying Hello to what I feel but it doesn’t work
-Focusing Tip #648 – “I’m practicing saying Hello to what I feel but it doesn’t work” What do you do if sensing into your body and saying Hello to what you feel doesn’t work? Read on… A Reader writes: I’ve been practicing feeling into the body and saying Hello to what I feel. I do not notice a rapport building with me and my internal self. And I feel like as long as 14 years ago I was saying the same thing. This makes…
Focusing Tip #647 – The problem with letting things go
-Focusing Tip #647 – The problem with letting things go Might there be something that works better than saying “I need to let this go”? Read on… Jael writes: Nowadays it’s the style to say that you need to “let it go” when an unpleasant feeling or thought comes to you–especially when you realize this is a well-known part that usually comes. But something in me doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of letting things go. I am wondering if the process of letting…
