Untangling Musings: “Does Self-in-Presence have longings?”
-Gosh, do you believe it’s been six months since our last Untangling newsletter? Where have we been? We’ve been working intensively on the final stages of our new Untangling book… finding a perfect subtitle (hard!) and the perfect cover design (thanks to Maggie Hurley!). Here it is, subtitle and all: Tell us what you think! Some of the chapters:…
Focusing Tip #863 – Focusing Process – “Why does having a Focusing partner help so much?”
-Focusing Tip #863 – Focusing Process – “Why does having a Focusing partner help so much?” What does having a Focusing Companion add to our process? Read on… Nicole writes: Why does it land so differently when my companion reflects my words back to me, as opposed to when I say them myself? (We are pretty much saying the same thing if I used Self-in-Presence language to start with.) It almost seems like I cannot process or “perceive” my words at the same time…
Overwhelming Emotions | How to Feel Uncomfortable Feelings
-The most powerful thing you can do for yourself when it’s hard to be with what you feel is to acknowledge how hard it really is… Some feelings that are harder to be with than others. Current events might be stirring up extreme fear, for example, or overwhelming sadness. You…
Focusing Tip #862 – Grief and Parts – “How do we Focus differently with grieving?”
-Focusing Tip #862 – Grief and Parts – “How do we Focus differently with grieving?” How do you accompany your own grief if “grief” is not a part? Read on… Mary writes: I am in the process of losing my mother to dementia. I feel the grief at the loss of my mother in every cell of my body. It would feel wrong and disrespectful to use ‘something in me’ to describe this grief. I have read your post on the Art of Focusing…
Focusing Tip #861 – Strong Feelings – “What if I start crying in front of this other person?”
-Focusing Tip #861 – Strong Feelings – “What if I start crying in front of this other person?” Is it OK to cry in front of your Focusing partner? Read on… A Reader writes: I’m very weepy these days. The smallest thing seems to touch off crying. I lost a number of family members in the last few years, and I think probably my weepiness is connected to that. My question is about Focusing partnership. I worry that I’m going to start crying in…
Focusing Tip #860 – Focusing and The Body – “I’m more in touch with my feelings than with my body”
-Focusing Tip #860 – Focusing and The Body – “I’m more in touch with my feelings than with my body” What if you feel your feelings but you don’t feel them in your body? Read on… A Reader writes: I seem to be more in touch with my feelings than with anything in my body. What is the benefit of trying to find where in my body the feelings are? Dear Reader: Inner Relationship Focusing is a way of being present to whatever we…
Focusing Tip #859 – The Body and Focusing – “I need to regulate my nervous system before learning Focusing”
-Focusing Tip #859 -The Body and Focusing- “I need to regulate my nervous system before learning Focusing” Do you need to regulate your nervous system before you learn Focusing? Read on… A Reader writes: I feel I need to heal my nervous system. I want to learn Focusing but first I feel I need to concentrate on regulating and bringing safety to my nervous system. Dear Reader: I’ve always suspected that Inner Relationship Focusing already is a primary way to regulate the nervous system…
Focusing Tip #858 – Regret and Parenting – “I didn’t pay enough attention to my daughter’s needs”
-Focusing Tip #858 – Regret and Parenting – “I didn’t pay enough attention to my daughter’s needs.” What if your feelings of guilt are for something you should have done and failed to do? Read on… Maria writes: I would like to talk about my feeling of guilt. I have a daughter who is 36. When she was growing up, my husband and I were so busy keeping everything going at a Buddhist Center that we did not pay enough attention to our daughter…
Focusing Tip #857 – Boundaries and Self-Love – “I feel guilty that my life is better than my sister’s”
-Focusing Tip #857 – Boundaries and Self-Love – “I feel guilty that my life is better than my sister’s” What can you do if you are haunted by a feeling of guilt for something that’s not your fault? Read on… Julie writes: The sensation of feeling guilty is often present in my life. One of my sisters had a rough life. A part of me has often felt guilty for what I have in comparison to her. Another part says that it is tired…
Focusing Tip #856 – Personal Growth and Self-Love – “If I love myself, how do I change?”
-Focusing Tip #856 – Personal Growth and Self-Love – “If I love myself, how do I change?” Does accepting yourself hold you back from change? Read on… A Reader writes: I heard you give a talk on Inner Relationship Focusing, and it struck me how gentle and self-loving it is. Would you say that the more you do Focusing, the more self-love you will cultivate? And then I notice a worry that if I simply love myself, I won’t change. What would you say…
