When You Dread the Unknown
-I feel like right around the middle of March, my ordinary life got thrown into a blender. And not just me, but…
Focusing Tip #707 – How do you cope with multiple warring parts?
-Focusing Tip #707 – How do you cope with multiple warring parts? When parts of us are fiercely battling each other, what can we do? Read on… Elizabeth writes: Several people I know talk about having a “bar-room” of characters inside themselves fighting each other and trying to be heard. How do you cope with multiple warring factions within? Dear Elizabeth: In last week’s Tip I talked about how it’s simply human to have contradictory feelings. It’s also quite common for the parts of…
Focusing Tip #706 – “I don’t want to return to normal life.”
-Focusing Tip #706 – “I don’t want to return to normal life.” Are these challenging times bringing up all kinds of contradictory feelings? Read on… A Reader writes: A part of me enjoys this time of isolation and believes it is an opportunity to get to know myself better. This part does not want to return to normal life yet. AND there is a voice that says “How can you not want to return to normal life??!” AND at the same time, another part…
When You Feel Guilty
-Have you been riding a roller coaster of feelings these days like I have? Oh my gosh, I’ve gone through anxiety, dread, sadness, gratitude, annoyance… and that’s just in one day! And one of the sneaky ones is this feeling of guilt I get sometimes. I’m doing so much better than a lot of people. I have a home, I can work, I have somebody to hug every day… And I’m definitely grateful for that! But sometimes I…
Focusing Tip #705 – “I seem to be plagued lately with thoughts of my own death.”
-Focusing Tip #705 – “I seem to be plagued lately with thoughts of my own death.” Is there a good reason why parts of us obsess about death? Read on… Michelle writes: I seem to be plagued lately with thoughts of my own death. I don’t think it’s necessarily related to the COVID pandemic. I think it’s related to being middle aged and having all kinds of “What kind of impact do I want to have with my life while I’m here” kinds of questions.…
Focusing Tip #704 – “Something in me can’t bear to not be perfect at what I do.”
-Focusing Tip #704 – “Something in me can’t bear to not be perfect at what I do.” When you feel you have to be perfect, it’s often because you are being shamed from inside. Read on… Maire writes: I am about to complete my degree in counseling. Last week, I said something to a client wasn’t really appropriate… and I’ve cried about it ever since. I keep telling myself that a mistake is merely a chance to learn, but that doesn’t help! Something in…
When You Feel Inadequate
-My heart is with you in these challenging times we’re living through together. It seems to be true that when the going gets tough, we draw on our strengths — and that’s great — AND we can also find that, under stress, our unhealed emotional wounds come closer to the surface. For me, I know there’ve been times lately when I’m more thin-skinned, more ready to react with hurt or upset to things that wouldn’t have fazed me,…
Focusing Tip #703 – “I struggle with feelings of failure, shame, inadequacy…”
-Focusing Tip #703 – “I struggle with feelings of failure, shame, inadequacy…” If you feel that old negative beliefs about yourself are coming up more strongly now… Read on… Wendy writes: I wondered if you might speak to the topic of being with (and unmerging more from) the part I’m very aware of currently that has deep core feelings of “I’m not good enough/I’m no good…”, failure, shame, inadequacy, etc. I know this is a big topic! It’s not specific to coronavirus times but…
