Focusing Tip #659 – “That person hurt me deeply and I want to forgive…”
-Focusing Tip #659 – “That person hurt me deeply and I want to forgive…” If you thought you had forgiven someone, but you realize that you still hold a grudge… Read on… Lucy writes: I have forgiven someone who hurt me very deeply, but I am realizing that it is only with my will, and deep down I think I still hold a grudge and am afraid of that person. How can Focusing help me to come to a place of forgiveness from deep…
Focusing Tip #658 – Changing unhelpful habits
-Focusing Tip #658 – Changing unhelpful habits How can you change habits that may have helped you in the past but are no longer helpful? Read on… Swapnil writes: I am curious to know about ways in which Focusing can help me work with some of the habits that I do not want to be associated with anymore as they are not really helpful in my present life. Some of these habits have helped me in the past as strategies to deal with certain…
Focusing Tip #657 – How can we bear the suffering we see?
-Focusing Tip #657 – How can we bear the suffering we see? What do you do with feeling helpless about other people’s pain? Read on… Iris writes: Ann, may I ask how you personally deal with witnessing extreme physical and mental suffering of others? In particular, the ones that have no voice (children, animals). It’s beautiful that some of us have the opportunity to embark on the path of healing. But most sentient beings never will have that. I guess I’m asking, how is…
Focusing Tip #656 – Finding richness in our criticisms of other people
-Focusing Tip #656 – Finding richness in our criticisms of other people Do you find yourself stressed by how infuriating other people are? Read on… Jim writes: You’ve written that the sentence to use when we encounter an inner self-critic is, “Might you be worried about something?” Is this the sentence to use when I catch myself criticizing or judging others? Dear Jim: I’m excited to hear that you are getting curious about your judging of other people. People often don’t realize our criticisms…
Focusing Tip #655 – “I already know the reasons for my pain and exhaustion”
-Focusing Tip #655 – “I already know the reasons for my pain and exhaustion” When you have a physical pain or symptom, do you assume you know why? Read on… Rosie writes: I was struck by your Tip last week about listening to the body rather than talking to the body. It’s currently very common to make quick assumptions about a physical complaint: “This pain is because I’m overworked, stressed out, not getting up and stretching enough.” But do we check with the pain…
Focusing Tip #654 – Focusing isn’t talking to your body
-Focusing Tip #654 – Focusing isn’t talking to your body Do you talk to your body and wonder why that isn’t helping? Read on… A Reader writes: I tried Focusing with my client. She has a chronic pain in her shoulder. I had her tell the shoulder that she is not angry with it. The next week she came back and the pain in the shoulder was worse. She told me, “I don’t like Focusing.” Do you have any suggestions? Dear Michelle: Thank you…
Focusing Tip #653 – “Is there more I can do other than accepting my vulnerability?”
-Focusing Tip #653 – “Is there more I can do other than accepting my vulnerability?” After you get better at changing how you respond when you are triggered, is there more you can do? Read on… Jim writes: I have come to realize – and accept – that I have certain vulnerabilities and wounds. There are situations in which I have very limited conscious options about how to respond because I get triggered and react unawarely. The effects are painful and costly. I have…
Focusing Tip #652 – “When it’s really bad I resort to binging on sweets.”
-Focusing Tip #652 – “When it’s really bad I resort to binging on sweets.” Do you struggle with an inner critic that makes you feel like you are taken hostage? Read on… Margarita writes: I am struggle very much with inner critics and watchdog-like parts that are often running the show behind the scenes. I feel like I’m taken hostage sometimes. When it’s really bad I resort to binging on sweets which in turn makes me hate myself more. I would love to learn…
Focusing Tip #651 – “How can I become more aware of my body?
-Focusing Tip #651 – “How can I become more aware of my body? What’s the easiest way to become more bodily aware – or to help someone else do so? Read on… Teresa writes: I watched a video of yours and Focusing seems to make sense, but it depends on being aware of your body. What if I’m not? How can I become more aware of my body? Dear Teresa: Believe me, I can so relate! When I first tried to learn Focusing, I…
Focusing Tip #650 – Focusing with lack of attraction
-Focusing Tip #650 – Focusing with lack of attraction What can you do when the feelings are missing that you know would naturally be there? Read on… Tom writes: My love life works well in fantasy. But as soon as it goes into a real situation, I get a feeling like apathy or lack of interest. I look at the woman and feel nothing – suddenly I am empty. All the attraction is gone. This is very frustrating because I really want a good…
