Living a Focusing Life – Ann’s Blog

Focusing Tip #568 – “And then I become aware I am munching on something I didn’t even want…” Connie writes: Around 4:00 to 6:00 PM on most days I find myself in the kitchen craving something. I know I am not hungry because nothing I see appeals to me. And then I become aware I am munching on something I didn’t even want. I feel bad about myself but also…disappointed, discouraged, regretful, frustrated, displeased. I am beginning to recognize these moments of unconsciousness, or…

Focusing Tip #567 – “An example would be a part of me that feels anxious, and another part that is angry at it for being anxious….” Julie writes: As Self-in-Presence, do we sometimes listen to a conversation between parts? And then check for our body’s response to what the parts are saying to each other? An example would be a part of me that feels anxious, and another part that is angry at it for being anxious, and the both of them having a…

Focusing Tip #566 – “The body seems tired and the mind restless and generating thoughts… and I do not know if I am making this up.” A Reader writes: In Focusing I find many images coming in from past events, random, not knowing what to make of them, trying to feel whatever is “in there”, making room for it, inviting it, but not knowing what I am feeling as I am trying to feel…? The only thing I seem to be feeling is this…

Focusing Tip #565 – “Do you have a hard time listening to your inner critic because you can’t hear it?” Bhavani writes: When people talk about listening to an inner critic I used to get confused because I don’t hear a voice or specific phrasing in my mind. I feel all those body feelings of constriction, suffocation, etc. Now I know that’s how my inner critic talks to me. I can now turn toward it and ask what it is worried about, even though…

Focusing Tip #564 – Focusing with sadness and powerlessness about a medical procedure A Reader writes: I am having an issue with a medical concern. Having reached out to my doctor I am experiencing an inner sense of something that is overwhelming and makes me feel a sense of sadness and powerlessness. I’ve focused with two different partners on this but it is ever present. I may require an invasive procedure that I am quite worried about. How do I acknowledge these feelings and continue…

Focusing Tip #563 – What do you do when you long to just be yourself but you don’t trust that anyone will like you? Dear Readers: I first got involved with Focusing to help myself. I struggled with emotions like anxiety and self-doubt. I especially had trouble in social situations where I felt a lot of doubt about whether people even liked me. Sometimes I felt so anxious and nervous I just wanted to run out of the room — and sometimes I even…

Focusing Tip #562 – When you are trying to listen to your inner wisdom, do you get frustrated and angry when nothing comes? Sam writes: I am trying to use Focusing to get some movement on some very stuck life issues. But when I sit down and invite the body feeling, all I get is fog. I feel frustrated and angry at the process. It seems like other people are getting good results, and all I get is fog! A friend of mine who is…

Focusing Tip #561 – If an inner part of you sounds like your most judgmental parent, are you supposed to be nice to it? Daria writes: I have recently acknowledged a part of me that is very mean and very emotionally abusive. She is essentially a mirror of my stepmother who abused me horribly. About the only part I can seem to spend time with right now is the part that is angry that this “abusive stepmother” part even exists inside of me. I understand…

Focusing Tip #560 – Labeling a thought or a feeling as “negative” is already a strategy for suppression. Julie writes: I was struck by your Tip (#559) on the neuroscience of negative thoughts and feelings. I’ve had many, many years of low-grade anxiety and depression (some years not so low grade), in spite of talents, skills, intelligence, and education. I feel as though I’m stuck in a loop where I’m regularly asking myself the question, “What am I missing?” I’ve tried so many things. I’ve…