Focusing Tip #649 – “What is supposed to come after sensing my body?”
-Focusing Tip #649 – “What is supposed to come after sensing my body?” Do you get stuck just feeling sensations and describing them, nothing more? Read on… A Reader writes: I get stuck at the sensing the body phase. I find myself just feeling sensations, describing them, being with them, etc… but nothing else really happens. I understand that we don’t want to place an expectation on how the process should evolve, but I just find myself sitting with the emotions and that’s it.…
Focusing Tip #648 – “I’m practicing saying Hello to what I feel but it doesn’t work
-Focusing Tip #648 – “I’m practicing saying Hello to what I feel but it doesn’t work” What do you do if sensing into your body and saying Hello to what you feel doesn’t work? Read on… A Reader writes: I’ve been practicing feeling into the body and saying Hello to what I feel. I do not notice a rapport building with me and my internal self. And I feel like as long as 14 years ago I was saying the same thing. This makes…
Focusing Tip #647 – The problem with letting things go
-Focusing Tip #647 – The problem with letting things go Might there be something that works better than saying “I need to let this go”? Read on… Jael writes: Nowadays it’s the style to say that you need to “let it go” when an unpleasant feeling or thought comes to you–especially when you realize this is a well-known part that usually comes. But something in me doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of letting things go. I am wondering if the process of letting…
Focusing Tip #646 – “My stepmother was a rage-aholic”
-Focusing Tip #646 – “My stepmother was a rage-aholic Do you get taken over by intense feelings of rage that remind you of a raging parent or step-parent? Read on… Marianne writes: My stepmother was a rage-aholic and I have so many memories of her intense anger directed at me. In some of my current situations, I find I have what I call my own “inner rage-aholic”. Just because of the intensity of the anger I’m assuming that it is scared of something. There…
Focusing Tip #645 – Focusing with a panic attack
-Focusing Tip #645 – Focusing with a panic attack What do you do when you are having more than one intense body sensation at the same time? Read on… Dorine writes: During Focusing I’m supposed to say “Hello” to a body sense. But HOW do I stay outside the feeling while feeling the feeling? I have been working with childhood traumas and anxiety. I never connected the root cause of the panic attacks to my past until recently doing the Focusing techniques in therapy.…
Focusing Tip #644 – Dealing with a big change in lifestyle
-Focusing Tip #644 – Dealing with a big change in lifestyle If your life changes in a way you have no control over, what can you do with the feelings about that? Read on… A Reader writes: I had a shocking medical diagnosis and ever since, I keep having thoughts that life isn’t worth living. It’s not a life-threatening condition but it does mean having a much more restricted lifestyle. I resent the narrower choices I have, like for diet, and I keep trying…
Focusing Tip #643 – “I don’t know what this scared feeling needs.”
-Focusing Tip #643 – “I don’t know what this scared feeling needs.” What if you can feel that something in you is scared but you have no idea why? Read on… A Reader writes: I followed your tip to sense inside and call my feeling “something.” And I said hello. But something in me said “no” very loudly. It doesn’t really like me saying hello. I think it must need something. It is so scared. But I can’t understand what it needs. How can…
Focusing Tip #642 – “I sabotaged my life…”
-Focusing Tip #642 – “I sabotaged my life…” If you feel that you sabotaged your life, it might mean that a younger part of you needs your compassion. Read on… A Reader writes: I have a longing to help people. But I sabotaged my life to the point that this seems impossible. I also have a longing to find a partner who really loves me… but I don’t love myself… so this seems impossible as well. Can I use Focusing to learn to love…
Focusing Tip #641 – “I feel my emotions easily but I’m not so connected to my body”
-Focusing Tip #641 – “I feel my emotions easily but I’m not so connected to my body” What if you feel your emotional states easily, but it’s hard to feel your body? Read on… Gene writes: When I look inside, I am used to looking for emotion, not sensation. I can sense fairly quickly if I’m angry, or sad, or lonely, or tired. Your method focuses on searching for body sensations, which I find difficult to do. Is it OK to simply sense my…
Focusing Tip #640 – What good is it to stay with a feeling of longing?
-Focusing Tip #640 – What good is it to stay with a feeling of longing? Could your longing for a past partner bring you something other than just sadness and regret? Read on… A Reader writes: I was invited to focus on my longing… but my longing went immediately to an ex-partner whom I have missed incredibly over the last two years despite my rational mind knowing it was a good decision for us to separate. A little voice in my head appeared that…
