Focusing Tip #741 – “Oh that’s just a part, that’s not really me feeling that”
-Focusing Tip #741 – “Oh that’s just a part, that’s not really me feeling that.” Have you found that acknowledging your feelings leads to dismissing them or stopping them? Read on… Christina writes: Lately I’ve noticed a tendency in myself to be dismissive of some hard feelings, as in “I see you, and I know that is really hard,” but then: “Oh that’s just a part, that’s not really me feeling that.” For instance, I will start to feel sad and tears will come,…
Focusing Tip #740 – “The demo video shook me up, and I had trouble being present.”
-Focusing Tip #740 – “The demo video shook me up, and I had trouble being present.” What can you do when someone else’s process brings up feelings about your own life? Read on… Anita writes: I watched a video in a Focusing class of a person Focusing with her feelings of fear that she might get dementia as her mother did. The issue touched me very deeply and shook me up, as my mother passed away six years ago after dementia. I subsequently had…
Focusing Tip #739 – Focusing and Internal Family Systems…?
-Focusing Tip #739 – Focusing and Internal Family Systems…? Curious about what Focusing and Internal Family Systems alike and different? Read on… A Reader writes: I wanted to ask how you perceive and understand the difference(s) between Inner Relationship Focusing and Internal Family Systems? I’ve recently come across IFS again via a group I’m in. It feels similar to Focusing in many ways. Yet it seems to move faster into asking a lot of questions rather than quite so much checking back in with…
Untangling® Musings: Change and Transformation
-It’s January. We have been thinking about how things might be different this year–maybe you have too. There are so many changes already taking place in our outer world: a new president, a vaccine starting to roll out, the realities of Brexit are now something people have to live with. Many of these things will have impacts on…
Focusing Tip #738 – “I have to keep working in an unsafe situation.”
-Focusing Tip #738 – “I have to keep working in an unsafe situation.” What if your work is unsafe and you have to keep doing it, and you’re scared? Read on… A Reader writes: I’m really curious about what to do when you have to work in an unsafe situation and you need to continue to work there and it’s not going to get more safe for quite a while. I’m listening to inner parts about how unsafe they are feeling. It’s realistic that…
Focusing Tip #737 – “I’m feeling triggered by a work experience.”
-Focusing Tip #737 – “I’m feeling triggered by a work experience.” What if you acknowledge how you feel and it changes nothing? Read on… Michelle writes: I seem to be very triggered right now about a work experience. My body is very clenched and, following your advice, I am using the words: “I am sensing something in me is feeling terrified.” But there still seems to be no forward motion. I’m hoping you can help. Hi Michelle: Yes, it’s true that saying “something in…
Focusing Tip #736 – “What does ‘inner relationship’ actually refer to?”
-Focusing Tip #736 – “What does ‘inner relationship’ actually refer to?” Why is inner relationship so important? Read on.. Christina writes: You and Barbara McGavin created Inner Relationship Focusing. I’ve been wondering—what does “inner relationship” actually refer to? The relationship with the emotions inside? The parts? Dear Christina: I think we’re living in times when relationship matters more than ever. When you and I are in relationship, both of us matter. We’re both needed, and both important. We contribute to each other, hopefully in…
Focusing Tip #735 – “I hear people say you can choose how you feel, but…”
-Focusing Tip #735 – “I hear people say you can choose how you feel, but…” Is it true that you can choose how you feel? Read on… Julia writes: Often times, we hear people say things like, “You can choose how you feel. If you feel hurt/disappointed/angry (or anything negative), then it’s your choice.” I don’t quite like how this approach/viewpoint sits with the whole Focusing modality. With Focusing, we simply allow whatever is to come as it is, and be present with it.…
Focusing Tip #734 – “I never get information from my felt sense”
-Focusing Tip #734 – “I never get information from my felt sense.” What if your body is trying to communicate with you, but you don’t understand its language? Read on… Barry writes: I’ve been trying to do Focusing for nearly 3 years, but have had a persistent stumbling block. I can often sense and describe what does seem to be a felt sense, but that perception never develops into what, for lack of a better word, I’ll call information, or understanding. The felt sense,…
Focusing Tip #733 – Bringing Focusing to communities around the world
-Focusing Tip #733 – Bringing Focusing to communities around the world Dear Readers: It’s a troubled world out there. Hard things happen. An explosion in Beirut kills over 200 people and leaves 300,000 homeless. A pandemic kills over a million people worldwide in less than a year, and leaves lives and careers devastated. A war in Syria turns 5.6 million people into refugees. We wonder what good it can do to pursue an inner path such as Focusing in the face of such enormous…
