Bridget is facing a deadline… but the stubborn part that doesn't want to write won't see reason!
What can she do? Read on!
"I'm facing a deadline and Focusing seems like procrastination"
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Bridget writes: "I'm facing a deadline and all this focusing seems to be just so much procrastination. Or there's a part of me that believes it's procrastination. And there's another part of me that doesn't want to start until it's too late.
"I'm trying to listen to the part of me that doesn't want to write. It runs and hides. I guess it's afraid of the part of me that says, "Lazy. You're just lazy." I don't know quite how to get these two to talk.
"It helps me to at least be a little more aware of the part of myself that resists writing, to feel what's there, and to try to make friends with her. Because making her an enemy doesn't seem to work. So far, she's winning."
Dear Bridget,
It's a poignant situation you have here, and one that I know very well. The closer the deadline gets, and the more that is riding on the results, the more frantic is the part of us that pushes to get it done.
The problem is, that part is powerless to make it happen. As you see so well, the part that doesn't want to do the action wins. Always! As long as we are not Self-in-Presence, as long as the battle rages and we are identified with the combatants, the part that doesn't want to do the action holds the power.
As far as I know there is only one way out. (The good news: There IS a way out!) And that is to move into being Self-in-Presence. That means no pushing, no impatience, no criticism or name-calling.
But with a deadline looming, you ask, how can I not be impatient and frustrated with the stubborn part of me that refuses to write?
Of course. It's understandable to be impatient. But it's not helpful at all! Being impatient doesn't get you to the goal faster–quite the contrary. So when you sense that impatience, instead of saying, "I am impatient," try saying instead, "I am sensing something in me that is impatient."
Focusing takes a bit more time but it's faster than not Focusing!
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Even though part of you is crying out that Focusing takes too much time, if you're blocked, you're not getting the job done anyway. So might as well try Focusing!
I'd recommend really setting aside some time. That means making a deal with yourself that you will do just Focusing for a period of time–let's say 45 minutes–and you'll stay with the process for that long. Setting a timer works well for this. Also lighting a candle… a soothing, this-takes-time signal to yourself.
Once you're settled, take your time to get comfortable and breathe, bringing awareness to your body, especially your feet, your seat, all the places where you're in contact with what you're sitting on. And resting into that support.
Then bringing awareness into the middle area of your body, give a gentle invitation to the part of you that doesn't want to do the action. Invite it in under a flag of truce, with a promise that you won't start beating it up when it arrives. You are just wanting to get to know it better, trusting that there is something important to it that it is protecting.
If you have a hard time holding an open space of curiosity for the part that doesn't want to do the action, that just means that the other part needs to go first. So say an inner hello to "something in you" that is impatient, urgent, worried… sensing what description fits.
Who YOU are is neither of these… neither the resistant one nor the pushing one… and when you can find your calm clear sense of Presence (feeling your feet and your seat can help!) then everyone inside calms down and you can begin to listen, with interested curiosity. No matter what you hear, stay in your listening position: "Ah, I really hear you, no wonder you feel that way." If you do that, after a while you will feel a shift in how all this feels. It can go in many directions, but that much we can say for sure: something will shift.