A Reader writes:
When I try to do Focusing I feel a dark, painful area of my body, and I get a very strong feeling that this is too much for me. It seems to not want me to touch it. So it’s like Focusing is too much inner attention for it.
I feel my life will not move forward until this changes, but I don’t know how to change it.
Dear Reader:
Let’s trust the inner message that it doesn’t want you to touch it. That doesn’t mean you give up on Focusing, however.
In fact, Focusing is a great way to be with “something” that doesn’t want to be touched. This is because, in Focusing, we are completely respectful of the kind of attention that an inner feeling or part is asking for.
You are already sensing the kind of attention it doesn’t want. See if you can also sense the kind of attention it DOES want… from you.
You are already feeling it. It is there. It feels painful and dark. Perhaps it doesn’t want any MORE attention than that… but that much, it is allowing you to feel. And that is not nothing.
Based on my experience with this type of process, I suspect it is another part of you that is saying/feeling that this “dark, painful” place is too much for you.
Like a guardian, this part is trying to make sure that you don’t have emotional experiences that overwhelm you. It has probably been on this job for a long time.
If you suspect there is another part of you involved, but you can’t feel it yet, you can talk to it anyway. You can say, “Maybe there is something in me that is worried about this being too much for me. Hello, wherever you are!”
As Self-in-Presence, you have the capacity to be with both these parts in the way they need you to be. Go slowly. Keep sensing and listening. Find your own ground. There’s no need to do more than that.
Some more of Ann’s Tips on Parts that might feel hard to work with:
Focusing Tip #605 – “A part of me feels young, non-verbal, and very stuck”
Focusing Tip #338: “How can I be Self-in-Presence when I’m sobbing?”
