Focusing Tip #620: How to cultivate Self-in-Presence when you don’t feel like it

Focusing Tip #620: How to cultivate Self-in-Presence when you don’t feel like it
August 15, 2018 Ann Weiser Cornell
"I try to find a part that is calm and like Presence, and I can’t. I’m all agitated or depressed, all of me, all over."

Focusing Tip #620 – How to cultivate Self-in-Presence when you don’t feel like it

What if you feel agitated or depressed and that is all you feel? Read on…


A Reader writes:

You have talked about how important it is to be Self-in-Presence. But when I get overwhelmed with emotion, it’s just emotion. There often doesn’t seem like there is any Presence there. I try to find a part that is calm and like Presence, and I can’t. I’m all agitated or depressed, all of me, all over.

But then I remembered you telling someone to be Present to having no Self-in-Presence. Could you say more about that?

Dear Reader:

We have a new phrase that we really like (me and Barbara McGavin). We are now saying that it is important to cultivate Self-in-Presence, rather than saying “be Self-in-Presence.”

Feel the difference? If you are supposed to “be” something, and you aren’t, things seem rather hopeless. There’s no road from here to there.

But if the thing to do is to cultivate Self-in-Presence, then you can start with a tiny seed, or an inkling, or even with the awareness that you need more of it… and that can get you going in the right direction. Because small seeds can grow into big trees…

“I am noticing that it’s rather hard to be Self-in-Presence right now” is actually a very Self-in-Presence thing to say.

Another thing to do if you feel an emotion like “agitated” is to say “something in me is agitated.”

This really does make a difference!

I was talking to someone in a workshop yesterday. She said, in an upset tone of voice, “I feel so anxious when I have to take a test.”

I wondered if she would like to experiment with saying “something in me feels so anxious when I have to take a test.” I added, “And then say Hello to that something.”

She got a surprised look on her face. “That feels better!”

And here’s the thing. You don’t have to already feel like Self-in-Presence before you say those words “something in me”. The words will take you there! You may have to say them several times… but they will take you there.

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