Do you feel like you’re too impatient to listen to your body? Read on…
John writes:
You teach listening to the body. I know that’s what I should do, because I have a lot of trauma and I’m reactive a lot. But I get impatient. I tried meditating and I keep wanting to jump up and get out of there. When I try Focusing the same thing happens.
Dear John:
It actually makes a lot of sense to have a hard time staying in body awareness if you have some trauma history.
Escaping, getting away, getting out of there – emotionally and mentally if not physically – has been a way to survive the hard times.
And yet… things are different now. You are older. You have more resources. You are (probably) no longer actually in the trauma.
It just feels that way to a part of you!
That impatient, got-to-get-out-of-here feeling is understandable… but you don’t have to identify with it.
You can say: “I am sensing something in me is impatient and wants to run.”
At first, that “something in you” might still feel like “you.” But keep saying the words, and keep tracking the feeling. It may take 10 or 15 tries, but you can get there.
What that will feel like: “I am here and I am bigger than the scared and impatient feelings. I have scared and impatient feelings but I am OK.”
From that place – we call it Self-in-Presence – you’ll be able to turn toward the painful feelings and start a healing relationship that leads to real change. I predict that the need to run will fade away as the inner relationship grows.
Do let me know how it goes!
Another tip you might find helpful:
Focusing Tip #648 – “I’m practicing saying Hello to what I feel but it doesn’t work