Does saying “something in me feels” help you live more fully? Read on…
Larissa writes:
I have a question about the language of Presence you teach in Focusing — especially the practice of saying “there is something in me that…” rather than “I am…”.
I’ve been using this way of relating to my experience more broadly, creating a space between “me” and whatever I am experiencing.
My question is: Can the language of Presence help us become conscious co-creators of the life we want to live?
In other words, when I am no longer completely identified with what is happening in me right now, does that space of Presence give me greater freedom to participate consciously in creating what can come into being?
Dear Larissa:
Self-in-Presence is the ability to turn toward whatever we feel and think without getting caught up in it all. To turn toward all aspects of the struggle with gentle, interested curiosity.
Self-in-Presence is also a way to live life from the center of ourselves, present, calm, alert, at the top of our powers. “Conscious co-creator” is a good term for it.
When we’re merged with a part or taken over by an emotion, we can’t do that — or not nearly as well.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say I am anxious. My body is taken over by anxiety, and so are my thoughts. My capacity for wise action is limited; I tend to hide from decisions and avoid challenging situations.
Now, instead, I say: “I am sensing something in me is really anxious.” I put my hand on my stomach — where I feel it the most — and I say, very gently, “Hello, my dear, I sense how anxious you are… and I am here with you.”
After a few repetitions, my stomach is calmer, my shoulders fall, my whole body relaxes. It feels like all of me is here again. From this Self-in-Presence place, my life opens up and more becomes possible.
It feels like a miracle every time!
