How do you know if a feeling belongs to a part, or if it’s you? Read on…
A Reader writes:
I’m wondering, how do I know if it’s a part, vs. me just having the feelings?
Life has been so intense, last night I just broke down sobbing and had a good cry — and felt lighter afterward. Was that me having the cry? Or was it a part of me?
I guess I could have said, “I’m sensing something in me…” and that might have clarified it. But in the midst of the feeling, I didn’t think to do that.
Dear Reader:
Nothing wrong with having a good cry! That might be just what is needed… to let the feelings come and to welcome them.
But that doesn’t have much to do with whether the crying was from a part or not.
The language of “I’m sensing…” and the process of accompanying our feelings is helpful and supportive whether or not there are “parts” involved.
And the phrase “something in me” is chosen so that you don’t have to settle the question of whether an experience is a part or not. (After all, we don’t say “a part of me…”)
“Something” is a deliberately vague word — that’s what makes it so helpful!
“Something in me really needs to cry… and right now I don’t know why… and that’s OK, I’m just letting it happen.”
There’s not a hard dividing line between “parts” and “not-parts.” When you are aware that something is a part, you don’t disown it. It’s still you. When something is not a part, it is still a felt experience that benefits from being acknowledged and accompanied.
So the key question is really not, “Is this a part or not?” The key question is, “Is this something I am experiencing right now?” And if it is, I can be with it.
