Are there parts that just don’t want a relationship? Read on…
A Reader writes:
Sometimes I come across parts that do not seem to want a relationship with me. There is no reaction when I say to the part “know you are there.” They also don’t respond at all when I ask what kind of company they want.
The parts I am talking about have really strong opinions like “I don’t deserve to be alive or happy,” and they present these opinions as “the truth.“
Whatever I try, those parts just repeat their messages without even really noticing me as Self-in-Presence.
So I wonder, are there parts that you can’t get in touch with because they are not open to connection and relationship? Or is it about being patient and finding the right way to “say Hello“ to them?
Dear Reader:
Yes, there are parts that don’t care that much about relationship. But they do care about you.
This type of part expresses strong negative opinions, saying things like “I [or you] don’t deserve to be happy,” Whether it says “I” or “you,” it is a part that is worried. That is the key, that it is worried.
And in fact it is telling you exactly what it is worried about — or at least we can make a good guess. In this example, it is either worried that the truth is that you don’t deserve to be happy, or it is worried about what would happen if you did believe you deserved to be happy. Or both.
When you turn toward a part like this, you can skip the Hello, and just go directly to, “Ah, it sounds like you might be worried about something… maybe about me feeling like I deserve to be happy.” And then wait to sense if this connects.
You and your parts have a history together, and in some earlier times there might have been a lack of listening, and that led to a lack of trust.
That’s why patience and understanding are needed now, and why they will pay off in the end.
All of us are waiting for someone to really understand where we are coming from… and our parts are no exception!
