Can Focusing help you change habits that are no longer serving you? Read on…
A Reader writes:
I’m really tired of always using food to soothe my emotions. I know what the problem is, I know what I need to do, but I just don’t do it. And I’m disgusted with how I look. I’m sorry for that harsh language but it’s true. Can Focusing help me follow a healthy eating plan?
Dear Reader:
Focusing can help you create a compassionate environment within yourself, and be gentle to the different parts and sides of you involved in this struggle. And this can bring real change.
The first big step is awareness. Noticing what is going on in you at the moment when you’re about to reach for your soothing food of choice, and pausing long enough to feel in your body how all that feels in there now.
Noticing how you feel during the eating. (You might feel great… but just be aware.) Noticing how you feel afterward, when the backlash comes. I’m referring to the part of you that shames you and called you “disgusting.” Getting curious and interested there.
Now, some time later, you would sit down to do Focusing with the part of you that worries about your use of food for self-soothing, and the part of you that does the eating. With practice, you’ll be able to be an empathic listener to both sides.
The part that uses words like “disgusting” is especially interesting, because it’s saying that from a place of extreme worry. If you can hear how worried it is, and what it’s most worried about, a lot of the shaming and judgment will calm down. The part that reaches for the food will find out it doesn’t have to handle all this alone.
The result: A new sense of possibility and a new way to accompany your feelings… and new behavior without forcing yourself.
There’s a lot more about this process in my on-demand course The Urge to Indulge.
