What if you don’t feel anything even when you should? Read on…
A Reader writes:
I read your article where you say that you never used to notice when something hurt you or bothered you, but Focusing helped you start to notice.
I’m like how you were. I feel like I go through life numbed out, not connected to my body, just following habitual patterns. Yesterday I realized that something had actually made me sad… but that’s rare. How can I change so I’m more in touch?
Dear Reader:
The first step to any change like this is recognizing that something is missing. So you’ve taken the first big giant step by realizing that you’re having feelings and not being aware of them.
The second big step is realizing you want to be more aware. See, you’ve actually come quite a long way already!
And no wonder you want to be aware of how you feel. Your feelings are enormously valuable and precious. They connect you to life, to what matters to you, to other people, and to the world. In touch with your feelings, you are more fully alive.
I remember the moment when I finally was aware of feelings in my body that were about something.
I was with a Focusing partner, and she knew how hard it was for me to feel anything. I had asked her to help me if she could.
It was my turn to do Focusing, and I brought awareness to my body. “You might sense how it feels in there,” she suggested.
“Fine,” I said. “It feels fine.”
But a moment ago I had been telling my partner how messed up my life was, my boyfriend troubles, and how hard it was to communicate with my parents. (I was 22.)
So my Focusing partner said to me, “Does it still feel fine when you ask your body how your life is going?”
Suddenly feelings rushed in. “Oh, my life!” I could feel my life in my body! It was wonderful! The feelings were right there, ready to be felt. They just hadn’t been invited.
Keep listening inside. Practice with partners. You will get there!
