Can you feel shaky and still be Self-in-Presence? Read on…
Carole writes:
It’s rare for me to feel I’m really Self-in-Presence. I think somehow I am expecting Presence to not be a bit shaky, to not be thrown off, to be strong and stable and calm.
I have had some experiences companioning others and myself when I felt so attuned and present – completely in my body – not thinking, just observing and responding from this moment. But these are rare. When I don’t feel that, how can I get there?
Dear Carole:
I do understand. Since you hear us talk about the calm, compassionate state of Self-in-Presence, it can seem like some rare, difficult-to-achieve state… especially when emotions run strong.
But Self-in-Presence isn’t defined as being calm. It’s simply your ability to turn toward how you’re feeling. And there are ways to move toward Self-in-Presence even when you feel shaky and thrown off.
Recognizing is always the first step. When you can recognize that your Self-in-Presence is shaky, or that you are having trouble being Self-in-Presence, say “I recognize…”
“I recognize that it’s hard for me to be Self-in-Presence right now.”
Doing that is actually a step back toward Self-in-Presence. You might let a gentle hand go to your body, giving empathy to whatever you feel. Speak to the feeling: “Yes, I know you’re there.”
The biggest difference between “not Self-in-Presence” and “Self-in-Presence” is that you are aware and acknowledging what you feel. Simply, “Yes, I am sensing [whatever].”
To your feelings you say: “I am here with you now.” Whether that “I” is shaky or not doesn’t matter.
Gendlin said, “There are no qualifications for the kind of person I must be. What is wanted … is a person who will be present.” He’s talking about listening to another person, but the same is true of listening to yourself.
