What if you acknowledge how you feel and it changes nothing? Read on…
Michelle writes:
I seem to be very triggered right now about a work experience. My body is very clenched and, following your advice, I am using the words: “I am sensing something in me is feeling terrified.”
But there still seems to be no forward motion. I’m hoping you can help.
Hi Michelle:
Yes, it’s true that saying “something in me is…” does not always bring relief.
Saying “I am sensing something in me feels _____” is the beginning… The beginning of a relationship.
If you say the words, and your body is still clenched, perhaps the next step is to say to the terrified clenched feeling, “I trust that you are feeling this way for some good reason.”
And then listen. Take time to sit with this feeling, open to sensing what is getting it so clenched and terrified. It’s a work experience… you already know… and now sense what it is about that work experience that brings this feeling.
Our bodies can let us know that something needs attention. Of course, if you are actually unsafe, then you need to take action to ensure your safety.
Or, when you have a look, you may realize the current situation isn’t unsafe, but something about the current situation is triggering a body memory of a past time when you were unsafe. And that’s what needs attention.
You might put a gentle hand on the place in your body where there is a terrified clenched feeling, and say, “I am here with you. I get how terrifying it is.”
Change may not happen instantly… because we are building relationship, and relationship takes time. But change does come. Because life moves forward when there is empathy and presence to just what is so, right now.
