How can you help someone stay with what they are feeling? Read on…
Jimena writes:
Sometimes when I’m accompanying someone, they tell me they feel a lump in their throat or something in their stomach, and then they move on to another topic.
How can I help them to delve deeper into that thing in the throat or stomach? Or do I simply accompany them wherever they go?
Dear Jimena:
There’s a simple and powerful way to support someone in staying with something they feel. I call it the “empathic prompt.”
To form an empathic prompt, listen for the descriptive words the Focuser is using. Let’s say the Focuser said, “I’m feeling a lump in my throat.” The descriptive word is “lump.”
Now say back: “You’re feeling something in your throat, like a lump.”
The empathic prompt starts with “You’re feeling something…” followed by the body location if there is one, and ending with the descriptive word.
Another example: “I’m feeling a heaviness in my stomach.”
Mr response, said slowly: “You’re feeling something in your stomach, like heaviness.” (I lengthen the word “something” with the tone of my voice.)
Then you can add: “Maybe stay with that a while.”
Or, “You might check if that word ‘heaviness’ fits it well.”
These don’t force the Focuser to do anything. They are like invitations that the Focuser may or may not take. But they do make it easier for the person to stay longer and sense more deeply — just what we’re hoping for.
