How can I use Focusing to work with clenching & grinding my teeth?

Michelle writes: “Clenching and grinding my teeth has been an issue for me for many years and I am looking at being with that issue now in a Focusing way. I am aware of the health problems this causes and have sought holistic treatment for among other things, broken teeth as well as vertigo which is caused by the jaw joint pressing against the inner mechanism of the ear.

“I have been searching for the right Focusing approach to use in this case. It would seem to me that the best would be to use the protocol for addictions that is ‘Something in me wants to clench and something in me doesn’t want to.’ My hesitation comes from the fact that while I clench during the day and say hello to it when I notice it, most of the damage is done at night when I am sleeping. Can addictions manifest when I cannot be Self in Presence that is, when I am sleeping? It seems that I am hijacked by a partial self in my sleep! 

“Do you have any advice on how to proceed?”

Dear Michelle,
I think an addiction is exactly what this is… in the sense that something in you is doing a behavior that is hurting your health and well-being, and yet we suppose it has a good reason for doing so.

And when we use Focusing to invite the “part that wants to do the behavior” into awareness, it is never at the same time that the part has taken us over. Once a part that wants to (for example) drink too much has taken over the body and is acting out, that is not really a good time for Focusing. So inviting the part of you that clenches your teeth at night into awareness in the daytime will be right in line with the usual Inner Relationship Focucsing protocol for addictions.

The other thing that might surprise you is that the part of you that wants to clench the jaw is not necessarily in the jaw. The clenching in the jaw is the result, or symptom, of some kind of inner process, perhaps involving control or expression of emotions. When it shows up as a felt sense, when it is invited, it will probably appear in the throat, chest, stomach area of the body — although the jaw area is also possible.

How to do the “addiction” protocol

At a quiet time of day when you have some time to yourself — and ideally with a Focusing partner as your Companion — sit down to bring awareness to your body. After taking a few minutes to feel your body’s contact on what you are sitting on, and your breathing, invite “the part of me that is doing __________” to come into your awareness.

Keep your awareness in the middle of your body, and wait. Whatever you become aware of, after you make your invitation, is probably the response.

As usual with Focusing, you’ll be acknowledging and describing what comes, and then settling down with it to get to know it better.

After you are in touch with this “something” enough that you can feel its emotional aliveness (this may take up to 15 minutes or more), you can invite it to let you know what it is doing for you, by doing that behavior.

(I remember that my over-drinking part was trying to bring me relaxation, fun, play, and spontaneity.)

There may also be something it is trying to keep from happening. (My over-drinking part was trying to keep me from knowing how unhappy I was in my marriage.)

A part that clenches teeth might also be trying to express something. Just be the listener, and let it tell or show you how things are from its point of view.

I have no idea what will happen, but I have seen Focusing bring results with all kinds of issues, so why not this one too!