Did
you ever start Focusing on one topic, only to discover that your body
has something else "in mind"? What do you do then? Read on…
"I plan to start with a big issue but something else comes up…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joan
writes: "Very often, when I do Focusing, I start with a Big Issue —
something really important to me. And then, after I do the leading in,
and sense into my body, something else comes up. Often the Big Issue is
a Major Life Question, and the
something that comes up is something
more specific and immediate — like should I buy that camera for sale
on eBay, or should I call this person. The big question I start with is
chronic, the thing that comes up when I sense into my body is acute.
"Of course, I know that sooner or later everything leads to core issues
and home plate, and I also see that if I keep Focusing I'll eventually
get to everything, but is there a way to make it more likely that I'm
going to Focus on what I intended to Focus on … and is it even a good
idea to try?"
Dear Joan,
Two good questions! And I have a couple of answers.
First, remember it is possible to acknowledge
what comes up without going into it. At the start of a Focusing
session, there may be a number of issues or feelings or sensations that
come up… so there can be a preliminary time of acknowledging each one
without going into any of them yet. It's a bit like waiting for the
cast of characters to arrive.
So when you start your session
with your Big Issue in your intention, and an Acute Small Issue comes
up instead, you can say "Hello, I know you're there," to the Acute
Small Issue… and wait… and there may be other Acute Small Issues
that also need to be acknowledged… and YOU are still there as
Self-in-Presence, having acknowledged all of those, to now renew your
invitation to the Big Issue.
Like this: "Yes, I know you're there… and you're there… and you're
there too. And I'm waiting with my whole body sense of here-right-now
with all that… And I'm freshly inviting the Big Issue, for my body to
give me how-that-feels-right-now as well…"
Those smaller
issues may be satisfied with an acknowledgment, or you may have a sense
they need more. For example: "I'm sensing the camera issue needs about
five more minutes before I get back to the Big Issue."
(So if
your scheduled session was only 15 minutes, you're about done by now…
and you may want to check with your Focusing partner about scheduling
longer sessions!)
How to invite and be with those Big Issues
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And
as for whether it's even a good idea to try to get back to your Big
Issues — yes, absolutely! Inner Relationship Focusing is marvelous for
helping long-term chronic issues to shift… but you need to keep
coming back to them, keep inviting and intending to be with them.
In the April 15 2008 issue of the Tips I wrote about setting up a long-term Focusing project. To summarize what helps:
(1)
Have a Focusing journal especially for that project (issue). Write
something after each session that concerns it, and review it before the
next session.
(2) Schedule two sessions per week, and let one of
them be about anything that comes up, and let the other be dedicated to
your longterm Focusing project. These can be with two different
partners, or your regular partner may want to try this experiment as
well. You can support each other by reminding each other that this is
the session about the longterm project, or this is the session about
whatever comes up.
