Wayne asks:
My query is about using the Focusing protocol in bodywork. I am working mainly with footballers, so I need to tailor my vocabulary to suit their level of comprehension. It seems weird to them anyway.
I found that (for me anyway) they tended to build up too much resistance attempting to embrace the subtlety of ‘felt sense’. I have been explaining to them that the chronic patterns of muscle tension that we build up over the years due to mental resistance, is blocking the free flow of rejuvenating energy the body needs to heal itself.
I ask them to resonate the words ‘chronic patterns of tension’ and they can feel this contracting energy in their body. This is much more ‘tangible’ to them than the ‘felt sense.’
Dear Wayne,
Focusing is weird, very true! Or another way to say it, Focusing is different from what people are used to. And that’s a good thing, because it offers a way of being with ourselves that will bring something really new to our stuck and painful places.
Of course we need to find language that fits the people we are working with. I am with you there, all the way.
However, I’m having trouble with your phrase “chronic patterns of tension” as a substitute for the phrase “felt sense.” A chronic pattern of tension is exactly what a felt sense is not.
If I were you, I wouldn’t use the phrase “felt sense,” either. This is the same advice I would give to any one-to-one practitioner using Focusing-oriented methods. There is no need for your clients to learn the term “felt sense.” It will just make them wonder if they are doing it right!
What do I say instead? My favorite word “something” will do quite nicely.
“Maybe you’re sensing something there in your neck.”
“Yes, that’s where I carry my tension.”
“So as I put my hand there, see if it would be OK to let go of that word ‘tension’ for a while, and just feel what it’s like, right there. You can relax into the table and just take some time… and maybe sense how you would describe what it feels like, here in your neck… how you would describe it freshly, as if you’d never felt it before.”
How Words Get In the Way…and How to Get Them Out of the Way
When people describe their chronic body sensations, they often use the same words, over and over.
“That’s where I hold my tension.”
or
“I have chronic pain in my back.”
For them, the words “tension” and “pain” (in these examples) are no longer fresh descriptions of present experience. The words are as much a way of pushing the experience away, as they are a way to be in touch with it.
For these body senses to become felt senses, they need to be held differently, contacted with an open awareness, without words in the way. When I’m working with someone who is reporting a chronic sensation, I’ll often ask them to “let all words float away for a while.”
Next, I’ll offer this invitation: “Maybe you can describe it freshly, as if you’ve never felt it before.”
This is about much more than a new description–it’s about a new quality of contact. When a new description does come, it will have a “fresh” quality, an immediateness… and so will the person’s experience of this so-called “chronic” place.
When what we feel doesn’t change that is almost always because we haven’t really been with it with a non-judging, simply-sensing quality of contact.
