July 28 2009 – Tip #196

July 28 2009 – Tip #196
September 16, 2009 Ann Weiser Cornell

How
does "Self-in-Presence" of Inner Relationship Focusing compare with
"Big Mind" or "Compassionate Heart" of meditation practice? Read on…

"It seems that Focusing language is a way to disidentify with the form…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gary
writes: "As a relative newbie both in Focusing as well as in formal
sitting meditation practice, I wonder about the overlapping between the
two skills/disciplines/techniques. Most meditation teachers make a
point of dealing with distractions (thoughts/feelings) by simply
acknowledging their emergence in our awareness and then let them go
without clinging either through attraction or avoidance.  Some use the
metaphor of surface activity on a lake versus the quiet calm at the
lake's bottom.

"It seems to me that Focusing language like 'I'm
aware of something in me…' is a way to do this, a way to disidentify
with the 'form' in choosing the 'formless,' while recognizing that each
has its place. In both modalities, isn't the aim to identify with the
larger picture, the larger self?  Is 'Self-in-Presence' the same or
similar to 'Big Mind' or 'Compassionate Heart'?"

Hi Gary,
My
colleagues and I have often observed that Focusing practice shows HOW
to do what other methods say is a good idea! "Be compassionate to
whatever is arising in you." Easy to say… but how?

I am
fascinated by this "how." I've got a lot of moves that help. Using
Presence Language is one way: "I'm sensing something in me is feeling
restless" or whatever. Another way is to put a gentle hand on the place
in the body where the "something" is. Another way is to feel your
body's contact with what you're sitting on, and rest into that support.

I've
also noticed that when people get too involved in what to CALL the
state they are trying to get into, that interferes with getting there.

Is
"Self-in-Presence" the same as or similar to "Big Mind" or
"Compassionate Heart"? I think the question itself takes us astray. I
prefer the question: What is the process like? What do I do, what
happens, what does it feel like?


Dealing with distractions by letting them go
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes,
I would say that meditation and Focusing walk quite a long ways down
the same road together. However, there are differences.

You
mention that meditation teachers suggest dealing with distractions by
letting them go without clinging to them through attraction or
avoidance.

To me that points to the essential difference
between Focusing and any form of meditation: the purpose. (Sure to be
at least partly wrong, for the sake of contrast I will make some bold
statements…)

The purpose of meditation is to dwell for a time in a state of nonattachment.

The purpose of Focusing is to enable carrying forward of what is implied.

(In
Focusing we spend time with felt senses, which contain wholistic
knowing of what is needed for our forward steps. Our purpose for being
with them is so that they can carry forward–and the forward steps can actually happen.)

So these are quite different purposes!

Gary, you ask whether, in both modalities, if the aim is to identify with the larger picture, the larger self.

I would say no. For Focusing to work, we need to be Self-in-Presence, yes. (And
the good news is that there are many ways that help with that.) But
that doesn't mean that the aim of Focusing is to be Self-in-Presence.
In relation to the Focusing process, being Self-in-Presence is a means
to an end… and that end is to enable felt senses to form and be with
them, because thus we take our life-forward steps.

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