Iris writes:
I just did a Focusing session by myself which was disturbing. First there was an all-pervasive rock inside me, in the whole throat, lung and abdomen area. Then I felt a sense of suffocation, can’t breathe! From there, a felt sense of incredible anger and hatred arose, like something in me wanted to explode, wanted a huge cosmic explosion! There’s something there that juices it up and “makes” it even more intense.
I guess my questions are: how to be with such intensity, and is it OK to “let it go as far as it goes”?
Dear Iris:
How to be with such intensity: Be bigger than it is!
But I know that might not be easy… So let me give you some tips for that.
(1) Use the language of “something in me” to remind yourself that no matter how intense the feeling is, it isn’t all of you.
Like this: “I am sensing something in me that feels like an all-pervasive rock.”
And: “I am sensing something in me that wants a huge cosmic explosion.”
You can even say, “I am sensing something in me that feels like all of me.” Yes, that does help!
(2) Acknowledge its intensity. Say to it, “I really get how big you are. I really sense how strongly you feel about it!”
This feeling has its own good reason to be this strong, probably because it wants you to know that this is how important this is.
Sometimes there is a history of being suppressed, being “quieted,” so this feeling feels it has to burst out strongly in order to have a space at all. You could say to it, “No wonder you feel you have to be so strong!”
You also asked: “Is it OK to let it go as far as it goes?”
As long as you are there as Self-in-Presence, being your strong self, the feeling can be strong… and all is well.
But I think I’m hearing another part of you worried that this is going to get bigger and bigger.
Actually, if you are there, if you are getting how strong it is and saying to it “no wonder you are so intense,” then it is unlikely to get stronger. It is far more likely to calm down. Not because it “should” calm down, but because it feels heard and met.
