Focusing Tip #644 – Dealing with a big change in lifestyle

If your life changes in a way you have no control over, what can you do with the feelings about that? Read on…

A Reader writes:

I had a shocking medical diagnosis and ever since, I keep having thoughts that life isn’t worth living. It’s not a life-threatening condition but it does mean having a much more restricted lifestyle. I resent the narrower choices I have, like for diet, and I keep trying to daydream myself out of this…. only to wake up and face reality and feel depressed.

Dear Reader:

The first step is awareness, and good for you for being aware of your thoughts and feelings about this big change in your life.

The next step will be to create a compassionate relationship with the parts of you that are getting triggered by this new diagnosis and the restrictive lifestyle it requires.

For example, here is how that might sound:

You: “I am sensing something in me that is resenting my narrower choices. I am sensing how I feel that in my body. It’s like a tension up between my eyes.

“I am saying Hello to the part of me that feels tension about my narrower choices.

“I am letting it know I am here to listen. I am seeing images of having to weigh and measure and look at lists … and not being able to just go out to eat and order anything I want… Ah, that’s it, it feels like a loss of freedom!

“I’m letting it know I hear that, this part of me doesn’t want me to lose my freedom… and checking if that’s right. Yes! It feels heard.

“The tension between my eyes has released… I feel lighter… I’m not sure why, but that really helped!”

What I find exciting about Inner Relationship Focusing is that our feelings can change as we turn toward them and listen to them. In fact, they are likely to change! Not because we are trying to change them but because change is natural for feelings when they are given compassionate company. Try it!