Focusing Tip #643 – “I don’t know what this scared feeling needs.”

What if you can feel that something in you is scared but you have no idea why? Read on…

A Reader writes:

I followed your tip to sense inside and call my feeling “something.” And I said hello. But something in me said “no” very loudly. It doesn’t really like me saying hello.

I think it must need something. It is so scared. But I can’t understand what it needs. How can I find ways to understand what it needs?

Dear Michelle:

Great, it is already communicating with you!

If it told you it didn’t like Hello, I would respect that. That’s a very rich communication, in fact.

And you can sense that it is scared. Excellent!

But I’m wondering about the question “What does it need?”

That question can be a subtle way of trying to change the feeling. As if we are really saying, “What does it need to stop feeling so scared?” The subtle agenda is, I need it to stop feeling so scared.

And it can feel that. The “something” can tell that it is not being completely accepted as it is.

So what I would recommend instead is that you say to it, “I sense you are very scared. And I am here.”

Maybe next you’d say to it: “How would you like me to be with you?”

We are building trust, building an inner relationship… like making friends with a shy animal. It’s not instant, it takes time… and it with time, more comes.