If you’ve got a part that wants to over-indulge and another part criticizing you, what can you do? Read on…
Agnes writes:
Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry.
When I spend time with the impulse, I get that it’s a part that’s resisting another part of me, the relentless perfectionist. These two parts keep setting each other off, and I’m caught in the middle.
Where is my own will that wants to be myself?
Dear Agnes:
Good for you for recognizing that the impulse to eat when not hungry is from a part of you. And you even listened to that part enough to get that it’s reacting against another part of you… one that demands perfection.
This is definitely a pattern I’m familiar with!
One part over-indulges, another part criticizes you for not being perfect, and they react to each other, on and on.
Of course you wonder where are YOU in all of this! Your will, your choice. Your ability to simply be yourself.
First of all, YOU are the one who can listen. We call it being Self-in-Presence.
Parts need to be listened to. But they can’t listen to each other!
This pattern seems to go on and on, repeating in cycles that are endless. But it’s not endless. It can change. What it needs is for YOU to step in between the warring parts and say, “I’m here now. Please talk to me. I’m listening.”
What you want them to tell you is what they are worried about, what they don’t want, and what they do want for you. And then you simply hear that.
Second, YOU are the one who can act with wisdom and clarity. You can be curious about what feels right to do at any moment. You don’t have to be told what to do by a part of you. YOU can feel the rightness of, for example, eating this or not eating it.
Living your life from your whole self and not from a part of you feels so good, so fulfilling! It’s even better than chocolate!
By the way, I have a course for shifting those impulses to eat, without using shame or blame…. It can be found here: The Urge to Indulge
