How can you track your feelings when there are just too many of them, and all overwhelming? Read on…

Camilla writes:

I get that Focusing starts with simply sensing how we feel. But is there any “clue” we can look for when there is so much stress, so many blocks, so much overwhelming feeling, that we cannot even track one feeling or emotion or sensation?

Dear Camilla:

I like to say that Focusing starts with a pause.

In that pause, you sense how you are, how you are feeling, how you are now in your body. And acknowledge how you feel.

Maybe what you feel in there is not one feeling, but many!

In that case, the first thing to acknowledge is: “That’s a lot!” That kind of blanket acknowledgment may help you take a breath and feel some inner spaciousness. It’s a lot… and you are here, acknowledging it all.

Next, start acknowledging each “something” one at a time. It’s like you’re surrounded by a crowd of children in a kindergarten classroom, each one clamoring for your attention — so give each one your kind attention for just a moment, and then move to the next one.

“I’m sensing something in me is sad… hello I know you’re there, my dear… AND I’m sensing something in me is anxious… hello I know you’re there too, sweetie…” And so on.

You don’t have to call your feelings “my dear” or “sweetie” but I put that in here as a reminder that this wants to be a warm, compassionate process… Not just going through the motions, but really making a gentle contact with what is here.

And if there is something in you that doesn’t feel like being gentle, then maybe that’s the place that needs the first acknowledgment!

After a while, it all calms down, the kindergarten kids settle down and start to trust that none of them will get ignored. All will get a turn… because now, YOU are here.

When life is stressful — as it seems to be these days for so many of us! — this kind of gentle “acknowledging it all” can make a huge difference. Priceless!

New to Focusing?

If you found Ann’s tip interesting and would like to learn more about Inner Relationship Focusing, the best place to start is with our foundational program: Your Path to Lasting Change. Our live, online course will bring you greater happiness, clarity, and freedom from suffering…

Do stressful conversations trigger you? Are inner critics dragging you down? Do you struggle with habits that are holding you back?

With our training program, you’ll learn a skill to help you gain a sense of inner peace that will help you navigate all of life’s sticky situations – from frustrating self-doubt to difficult coworkers.

You’ll also get to explore Focusing Partnership. What you learn from Focusing Partnership can help all of your relationships. With your partner/spouse, your kids, your parents, your co-workers… what you learn in the Focusing Training Program helps you be a better communicator and a calmer listener.