Who is it in you who is aware of your feelings? Another part of you? Read on…
Lisa writes:
I’ve been taking your free course, Get Bigger Than What’s Bugging You.
The first step is to say “something in me is feeling…” and I’m curious about the “part” of me that is noticing the “something in me is feeling…”. Learning about this noticing/witnessing part might help me embody this practice, rather than it just feeling like words.
Dear Lisa:
Here’s something I think is really cool: The one who is noticing the “something in me is feeling” isn’t a part. It’s you.
Eugene Gendlin, the brilliant philosopher who developed Focusing, was very clear on this. In discussing a session with a client who was able to be with a part of her, he wrote:
“Her ‘self’ is not this part, nor any other part of content. Rather, she is the one who senses it, can speak for it, understands it, and senses [how it is].” (Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy, page 35,)
When people get interested in parts work, it sometimes seems to them that any feeling or any action is from a part. And perhaps some parts-work methods see it that way.
But Barbara McGavin and I are very clear: Parts are aspects of self, and there also your whole self. We call this Self-in-Presence.
You are being Self-in-Presence when you say “I am sensing… something in me feels… [worried, anxious, upset…].”
You are being Self-in-Presence when you say “I am saying Hello to that.”
One of the great intentions of Inner Relationship Focusing is to cultivate your Self-in-Presence. Your actions are done by you, not by your parts. You have access to your inner sense of rightness. You live your life from your center, as yourself.
We love parts as long as they are around, but they are not all there is!
