What can you do when a part of you violently attacks another part of you? Read on…
A Reader writes:
I have become aware of something inside me attacking other parts of me. For example, I see a girl stabbing another part of me with a knife repeatedly, or a bird pecking at another part until it bleeds.
I’m confused about how to be with this violent part in an open, curious and accepting manner — when I really want it to stop. I also feel that I have to be there for the part of me that is being attacked.
How can I be with these two parts without there being any casualties?
Dear Reader:
Why would a part of you attack another part of you so viciously? In every instance like this that I have seen, it always turns out the the attacking part is afraid that the one being attacked is a danger to the person’s survival.
I remember working with someone who had a part that would viciously attack anything vulnerable inside him. It turned out that in his childhood, showing vulnerability had been the most life-threatening thing he could do.
So even before we do or say anything, we can be sure that the attacking part is extremely worried about something bad happening, and is trying to prevent that.
Eventually you will be letting the attacking part know that you understand it must be very worried, and it is welcome to share more about what worries it so much.
But first you’ll need to get into a relationship with it, and that involves getting its attention by stepping in between it and the one it is attacking. You step in between. You, as Self-in-Presence,
Speak to it kindly, like this: “Hi there. I’m here to listen. You must be very upset. Please talk to me.” You might need to repeat this a few times.
This way, the violence ends, and there is opportunity for real change as you have empathy and compassion for what this part is worried about, and what it went through in the past that made it so worried.
