What can you do when your thoughts make you more and more anxious? Read on…
Jennifer writes:
I want to know how to get off the treadmill of spiraling thoughts that distress me and cause anxiety.
Dear Jennifer:
I feel for you. Me too. I find anxious thoughts and feelings of anxiety to be really tough. They’re unpleasant, and they can be hard to shift.
So I’ve spent a lot of time learning and practicing what to do when the anxious thoughts trigger even more anxious thoughts. “Spiraling” is a really good word for it!
Anxiety is about the future. It’s about a scary future that a part of you keeps picturing for you as if it is sure to happen. “You will fail.” “I will get cancer.” “The plane will crash.”
And then your body responds with fear reactions as if the scary thing is already happening.
Here’s what I do. Step one: I recognize that this is happening. This is a big step!
Step two: I acknowledge it, using the “something in me” language that helps me be with my feelings without getting taken over by them.
“I am sensing that something in me is feeling really really scared right now. … And I’m saying Hello to that.”
I have to repeat that a few times. Once is not enough! I also put a gentle hand on the place in my body that feels so scared.
This is about inner relationship. The anxiety isn’t everything, it’s something… and you are there with it. You can say that to it: “I am here with you now… and I know this is hard, not knowing.”
Other things help, too. Talking to a friend. Doing something that sparks joy. But it’s important that we’re not trying to shut up the anxious feeling. We’re listening. Bit by bit
