When you get a message from inside, what if you start by trusting it? Read on…
Giordana writes:
In a Focusing session, I found that something in me was feeling the absence of something essential.
It wasn’t emptiness, it was absence. Absence of something, but I could never get a feeling of what was absent. Recently I felt it again. When I tried to make space around the absence, it felt quite overwhelming.
Dear Giordana:
It sounds like you — understandably — tried to find out what was absent. But I would suggest a different approach.
Rather than trying to pursue what is absent, I would suggest that you acknowledge and say hello to “something in you” that is feeling the absence. And here is what I think is likely to happen next.
Now, you are in a relationship with something that you do feel. Undoubtedly something in you is feeling the absence of something.
And you know even more. You know, because you can already feel it, that this part of you is feeling the absence of something essential.
Let’s pause and acknowledge the importance of that!
It’s like a message is coming from some place deep inside you, and the best way to respond is with appreciation and welcome.
“Oh, you’re letting me know that something essential is absent. Thank you! I definitely take that seriously, and I appreciate it.”
Next: stay with the feeling. Let it be in your body, this feeling of something essential being absent.
As you stay with it, you’ll become aware of something more that you haven’t put into words yet. Maybe there will be an image, a memory, an emotion. Something more than you’ve known before.
If you ask a question, it’s too abrupt, and everything shuts down. So don’t ask. Just be there, being with the something in you that feels the absence, feeling the tone and the essence of it directly.
It’s not there for no reason. From it’s point of view, something essential is absent. No need to guess. Just sense and listen. The next steps will come.
This is a great focusing tip. I am often aware of something “absent.” Now I know how to be with the part of me that is feeling the absence, rather than pursue what is missing. Thank you.