Do you feel like your current life offers you no good choices? Read on…
Mia writes:
I feel very trapped in my current life situation (trapped in this home, family, life, body, etc.). Every Focusing session I do reinforces this feeling of being trapped and having to find a way to “get out of this.” Yet, I have no idea, means and options to do so. I still feel lost and clueless.
What would be my next best step?
Dear Mia:
Thank you for writing. It sounds like a very hard situation to be in. And I do have some ideas for you.
I don’t know any more about your life than in this short email. Yet I would bet there are things you can do, ways that you can take little steps toward a different life – little steps that add up to big steps over time.
The problem is that the feeling of being trapped and desperate can prevent us from seeing and acting on those little steps that are possible.
It might be that these feelings of being trapped come not only from your current life but also from a former time when you were younger and had fewer resources. The past can cast a big shadow over the present.
If there was a past time when we really were completely trapped and powerless, then current situations can feel that way, even if they are not actually the same.
Yes, you feel trapped and desperate now. But remember that Focusing is not just feeling your feelings! Our feelings don’t always tell the truth about our life in the present time.
Next time you do Focusing, try this:
- Say “I am sensing something in me that feels trapped and says we have to find a way to get out of this.”
- Say, “Hello I know you are there” to this “something” in you.
- Let it know you sense how desperate it feels.
- Now sense… about how old is this part of you? Might it be rather young?
- Perhaps it will show you some memories of former times. Let it know you really get how hard that was, then.
The point is that as an adult, you do have choices, actions you can take. But you cannot even see what they are when you are identified with this younger part of you, living inside its world.
By saying “something in me feels…” and then saying “Hello” to it, you step out into a bigger world where you can see farther and live more fully… step by step.
